Lights of Life
by Greye Granger
Summary: One night of passion with Edward, and Bella lets herself go comepletely, only to be left with the shock of her life. It doesn't help matters when she realizes she has no idea where Edward is, who he truly was, and if she'll ever see him again...
1. Chapter 1

**BPOV**

**Prologue:**

I sat back resting on my elbows on the blanket and tried to suppress the tears that would surely meet my cheeks soon. I had found him, and now I was going to loose him. I never thought my heart could hurt this much over one person. What was I going to do? How would I be able to take care of myself, let alone my saving Grace? I looked over to him with wide eyes, and began to wonder how he felt. Maybe I should try to envision myself in his shoes. Why I had waited this long to tell him, was beyond me. Fear? Rejection? Two logical reasons in my opinion. He was fidgeting with his hands, and I tried to think of something to say before he would give up and leave.

"I'm sorry" was all I could muster, unfortunately.

"Sorry doesn't mean anything now, does it? It's too late for that." he seethed. A piercing pain shot through my heart as I realized what a horrible person I truly was. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I knew that would send him over the edge. I pushed back the fear that maybe he never wanted me to touch him again. My chest started to tighten, and I could no longer hold back my tears. He looked up at me when I sniffled back more waterworks.

"Why are you crying?" He asked angrily.

"Because I don't know what else to do!" I yelled out. He winced back in surprise at my outburst, but I couldn't keep it in any longer. "I get it, okay? I fucked up. I'm a fucking liar, and a horrible person, who doesn't deserve you. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Jesus Christ, of course not!" He yelled back, and rose from his spot on the blanket beside me. "I don't want to hear anything! None of this should even be happening!" He started to pace back and forth barefoot in the wet sand, making my head whip from side to side watching him. The bottoms of his jeans were now damp.

"What do you want from me, Edward?" I said quietly, as sobs were trying to escape my throat.

"Nothing. Absolutely, positively, fucking nothing, Bella." He stopped pacing to look at me, as I allowed the sobs to come out.

"I...never meant to...hhhurt you" I said between the sobs that were coursing through my shaking frame.

"I never said you meant to, but you did." He was right. I looked at him through wet vision, and saw hurt in his eyes. I wanted to run to him and hold him in my arms forever. Another sob threatened me as I came to the realization, that that would never happen again, and it was all because of me.

"I'm sorry if I'm being too blunt, but it's true" he said quietly, no longer pacing. He had is hand behind his head, no doubt rubbing the tension in his neck. My heart ached on more as I saw the sunset behind him, and how it made his hair glow. Breathtaking.

"Don't worry," I began, "Nothing you can say will ever be as harsh as what I am saying to myself." I looked down to my lap, not wanting to meet his eyes. He shocked me when I felt him grab my hands, and kneel down in front of me. We sat there a moment, both staring at our tangled hands.

"I'm sorry, but I cant..." he trailed off, unable to finish, but I felt my heart stop beating, because I knew what he was trying to say.

"I don't know how to do this..." I held my hand up to cut him off. He looked up at me with watery eyes. Another shot to the heart.

"It isn't for everyone" I stated plainly. He looked at me, and held my eyes with his. He reached up to wipe a tear from my wet cheek bone. As broken as I had become, I needed to end this.

"You should go," I said, as I stood, and freed my hands from his.

"But," He stuttered out.

"But, nothing. This is it. You don't deserve that light."

"Bella, please, don't let it end like this..." His breathing began to pick up.

"You don't want to be apart of us, I get it, so get out." I was surprised at how even I was able to keep my voice, because with each word, I felt my heart ripping further and further apart. He tried to walk towards me, but I backed away.

"Don't blame me for this" he said, starting to get angry again. I didn't blame him, I blamed myself. I was the one who would have to live with myself after what I had done to him.

"I blame myself, Edward, but I'm not going to sit here and let the inevitable drag out."

"Fine." He shoved his hand in his pocket, and used his other to reach in the inside pocket of his coat. I studied him curiously. He set a small box down in the sand, looked up to me, and I saw a tear escape his eye.

"Goodbye, Bella."

I used everything I had left in me, to say the words I needed to say. "Goodbye, Edward." He turned on his heel, and ran back to his truck, never once looking back. I stood there motionless, as I watched him peel out of his parking spot, leaving black marks on the broken pavement. As soon as he was out of site, my body began to shake. I knelt down to the wet sand, and reached for the black velvet box. I slowly opened it, and gasped. Inside was a white gold ring, with a heart at it's center, and an August birthstone in the middle. I closed the box and let my body take its course with sobbing. I whipped my cell phone out, and sent a text to Alice.

_He's gone. I'm at the beach._ -_B_

I lay down on the wet ground, and pulled my knees to my chest, trying to hold myself together. I tried to let the waves comfort me. I knew what just happened, was for the best, but I also knew, my heart would never be the same. It would never be whole.

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><p><em>So leave me here alone<br>Let me bleed all my blood  
>Clearing my veins through tears of red<br>Rid myself of your warmth  
>Leave all the Lights of the World in darkness<br>-SGP_

**Hey guys! This is actually Savannah here! FF has finally decided to cooperate with me, so here is the start of my new story! If it weren't for Monica (Blueking141) I would have shot myself out of frustration! Go read her fics by the way. She is my BETA, a GENIUS, and my inspiration, no doubt.**

**I will be updating this fic as frequently as possible. I won't disappoint! I update fairly quickly! My first Fic, Captured by Fear and Love, is almost complete, so check it out! This Fic here means a lot to me, and I hope the characters can tug at your heart strings =] **

**Enjoy, and leave me your thoughts!**

**- S**


	2. Chapter 2

**ALL FAMILIAR CHARACTER NAMES BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER. Though this story is my own, and I have added a few new characters, I take no credit for Stephanie's.**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

**Chapter 1:**

_Five years earlier_

"Hurry your ass up!" I heard Rosalie call from the bathroom down the hall. I let out a loud aggravated sigh, making sure she could hear me.

"Quit complaining, Isabella Marie! You promised me!" She called out, causing me to remember my own words.

"Was I drunk?" I joked, causing her to storm back into my bedroom. I was taken aback at her beauty. She had cut her hair recently, into a pretty short layered look, that met her shoulders. She was wearing a bright red cocktail dress, and had half of her make-up on.

"No, you were not drunk. Alice said she'd back me up when she gets here, so get over it, and put that damn dress on!" She said as she pointed to the short black laced dress on my bed. I groaned again, but didn't fight her on it. She stormed back to the bathroom, and started blaring Usher from my iHome. I shed the robe I had on, and reached for the black dress, pulling it on with ease. I had to admit, it fit me perfectly. It surprised me, because that was hard to do, let alone the fact that Rosalie picked it out without even my presence. It was strapless, and usually I had a hard time wearing strapless dresses, because I don't have the boobs to hold them up, but this one was different. I held the dress to my chest as I walked to the bathroom.

"I need you to zip me up," I said to Rose quietly. I turned my back to her, and she zipped the zipper quickly.

"Let me see," She said, as she pulled my arm towards her. I stood in front of her trying to act as much like a model as I could. She didn't answer right away, and it got me nervous.

"Well?" I pleaded.

"It's perfect. 10 points for me!" She said enthusiastically. "Do a turn!" She twirled her finger in the air, and I did as asked, while rolling my eyes at her humor. We heard the front door from downstairs open and close, as Rose met my eyes.

"Alice" We said in unison.

"Hello?" Alice called from below.

"Up here, Al!" I yelled out, forcing Rosalie to put a finger in her ear from my shouting. Alice appeared at the doorway of the bathroom, and looked just as stunning as Rosalie did, in a knee length navy blue silk gown with her hair up, and make-up on perfectly. I sighed, and wished I was as good at all this girl stuff as they were.

"You look amazing, babe!" I said as I walked over to hug her.

"Yeah, you're a hottie," Rose announced reassuringly.

"Thanks you guys," Alice replied with a slight blush in her cheeks.

"I just have to put on my mascara, if you'd like to get a start on Bella," Rose told her turning back to face the mirror above the sink.

"Jeez, you guys make me sound like a science project," I groaned.  
>"Oh, shut up," my best friends both said at the same time. I rolled my eyes again, and sat on the bar stool we brought up from the kitchen, in front of the full length mirror. Alice made me turn my back on the mirror, insisting that I wasn't allowed to see myself until they were finished. Alice started on my hair, as Rose finally came over to start on my make-up, slathering my face in Cover-Up.<p>

"Now, you both promised that I'd still look like me when you guys are through with all this. That is still true, right?" I asked fearfully.

"Of course..." They said, and I could swear that they gave each other a wink over my shoulders. After forty-five minutes, I was through. I had made it through their, 'make Bella a girl' project. I stood up and was about to turn and give myself a once over, but Alice stopped me, and ran to get my black high heels. I slipped them on when she returned, and slowly moved my body in a quick twist. I couldn't believe it. I took my own breath away. My hair was half up, ringlet curls bouncing everywhere, and a face I hardly recognized. I mean, it was still me, just Hollywood styled me.

"Wow, you guys. I'm impressed" I breathed out. Alice immediately started clapping her hands and squealing like a little girl. Rose patted my back with a laugh.

"Told you, we knew what we're doing with all this stuff" She said proudly. I nodded my head at her, and couldn't take my eyes off of the girl reflecting back in front of me.

"You two are sure that we're not overdressing?" I asked a bit skeptical.

"No way. Besides, all the girls were told to dress formal. This is formal, Bella" Rosalie said.

"Whatever you say," I replied back. I went to the bathroom cabinets and took out a couple of band aides, and placed them on my feet. I knew by the end of the night, I'd have big blisters from these heels. I walked back to my room and quickly grabbed my pajamas, placing them into my overnight duffel. Before Alice and Rose could walk in and catch me, I shoved an extra outfit of a pair of dark skinny jeans, a black v-neck t-shirt, and my converse into the bag as well. Little did they know; I plan on changing out of this attire as soon as possible. It wasn't much longer until all three of us were ready, and heading down stairs. It was mid June, and the weather was perfect for our chosen attire. Although, we each grabbed a light jacket anyway, because in Forks, Washington, you never knew when the rain would come, and it came more often then not. I stepped out onto the porch, and turned to lock the front door of my house. I threw my robe, and hat over my shoulder, and turned around to Alice and Rosalie.

"Here goes nothing!" I said smiling.

"High School graduation, here we come!" Alice called out in a holler. I started to walk towards my Toyota Camry, when Rose grabbed me by the arm.

"Don't even think about it, Missy. We're taking my car," she said as an evil grin spread across her face. I turned to look at Rosalie's brand new Ford Convertible, and sighed.

"So much for getting there unnoticeable..." I replied in a frustrated voice.

"Get over it, hooker."

"Fine, but I call shotgun!" I called out teasing Alice.

"Hey! That's no fair! Fine, I get it on the way to the party!" She yelled back.

"Doubtful," I said bumping my shoulder to hers. "Jasper is no doubt riding with us. You wouldn't want to put him in the back with me, right? I'd start telling him all about you childhood days when you ran around in your underwe..."

"Okay, okay!" She said cutting me off in defeat. I smiled proudly as I opened the passenger door, and pulled the seat up for her to get in. Jasper and Alice had been together for two years, and they are still the cutest couple at Forks High. Rose and I swore on their first date, they'd be married within three years. I climbed into the new car, and the smell of fresh leather seats overwhelmed me.

"Can one of you put my cell phone in your purse, please?" I asked nicely.

"Oh, Bella. When will you start carrying a purse?" Alice said from behind me, taking my phone.

"When I have more things to carry besides a cell phone?" I asked.

"What about your Drivers License? Where do you keep it?" Rose asked, as she started the car. It let out a loud hum from beneath us.

"The glove compartment in my car," I replied nonchalantly.

"What about cash? Or your bank card?" Alice said with raised eyebrows.

"My back pocket."

"You're such a freak," Rose teased. I had to admit, she was right on that one. "Ready girls?"

"Ready!" Alice and I said together. Rosalie pulled out of my driveway, and we headed towards Forks High School, for the last time.

Graduating high school is an inevitable thing, and even though you've counted down the days since you were a freshman, you can't help but feel some remorse at it's end. I had four great years in that building. I got my first kiss from Hunter Wilt on the football field behind the bleachers my sophomore year, I got drunk for the first time my junior year at a Halloween Party, and I won the Best Artist award for a painting I did this past semester. It was sad to know that everyone would disperse into their separate lives, and who knew when I'd see any of them again. Granted, there are always the few people you couldn't wait to get away from, like Pervert Mike, or Slutty Lauren, but I knew that in ten years, we'd all be different people. Memories overwhelmed my head, as I felt tears begin to prickle my eyes.

"Bella?" Rosalie spoke softly, pulling me from my thoughts. "Are you ready?"

I hadn't realized that we were already parked. I looked to her, and smiled. "Yes." We climbed out of the red dragon that was Rosalie's car, and set for the school.

Inside, everyone was in panic. Teachers yelling out names, teenagers yelling out in excitement, and us three girls watching it all laughing. We took our spots in line, separated because of our last names, and got ready to head into the Gymnasium. My graduating class was only 300 students, which isn't much to some people, but was to me. I looked around at the people ahead of, and behind me, and smiled.

"Single file, folks!" The assistant principal, Mrs. Louis called out. Everyone got quite, and did as told. I started to hear the school band begin the Alma Mater and saw Casey Abbot, start to lead us all into the Gym. Once I reached the crowded, stuffy, Gym, I started to search the crowd for my parents. I took my seat, and watched Jessica Stanley take the stage to give her Valedictorian speech. It was kind of long, and drawn out, but it could have been worse. I spotted my parents towards the back of the crowd of cheering people, and smiled. I was just as proud of myself as they were in that moment.

"Alice Owens," Mr. Ward called. I immediately stood from my chair, and started clapping and yelling loudly. I did the same for Rosalie, and when it was finally my turn to walk the stage, I'd never felt more free. I shook Mr. Ward's hand, switched my tassel to the opposite side, and walked into the crowd of graduated classmates. My parents found me first, and squeezed my neck tightly.

"Oh, baby! I'm so proud of you!" My mom said into my ear, tears flowing from her green eyes.

"Congratulations, Bells," my dad said from behind me.

"Thanks you guys. I couldn't have done it without you." My mom pulled out a Kleenex, and leaned into my dad's shoulder for support.

"Calm down, mom. This is only high school. Save your tears for when I graduate College!" I said with enthusiasm, which only made her cry harder. I took my digital camera from inside my mother's purse, and had someone snatch a few pictures of the three of us. My mom hugged me again, and I patted her back trying to sooth her.

"Come on, tearful eyes," Dad said laughing. "Let's get you home."

"You're staying with Rosalie tonight, right?" Mom asked.

"Yes."

"Okay, we'll see you tomorrow." She sniffled, and released her choke hold.  
>"Have a fun night, graduate! Be safe," My dad called back, as he began to lead my mother out of the crowded room. I turned around and began to search for my friends, finding Rosalie first, who told me that Alice and Jasper would meet us at her car. I held onto Rose's hand as we made our way through bunched up people, and breathed in a big gulp of fresh air, once we were outside. Alice was leaned up against Rosalie's car kissing Jasper as he hovered over her protectively.<p>

"Hey now, save that shit for later," Rose said making a gagging sound. Alice pulled away from Jasper and giggled. They climbed into the back of Rosalie's car, and picked up where they had left off. Rose and I climbed in, and as soon as she started the car, I turned the radio up to block out the smacking kiss noises coming from the backseat. Beyonce blared through the car stereo as we started our drive toward Rosalie's house. I began to get a little nervous as we neared her house, knowing of the coming events. Rose was hosting a Graduation Party, and invited the entire student body. I was never particularly fond of parties, unless I was drunk, which was a rare occasion. I didn't like being around a lot of people. I fidgeted with my hands, and took a deep breath.

"Relax, Bella," Rosalie said, as she turned the music down a bit. "It's going to be an awesome night. Plus, Emmett said that he knows a few people coming from Port Angeles. You never know, maybe you'll meet the man of your dreams." She laughed, and I couldn't keep from laughing with her.

"Oh, please. I gave up on him a long time ago," I said while waving my hand in the air.

"Don't say that! You could meet someone, and have a relationship like me and Emmett's." She got dreamy eyed when she spoke of Emmett Williams. He was 22, buff, and almost graduated from college. He met Rosalie through their parents, who were all Lawyers, and always out of town on business. They'd been together almost a year, and even though he lived about an hour away, they made it work. It suited them. She intends to go to school in Port Angeles this fall, and then they'll be close together. It should be a nice change for them. Unlike Alice and Jasper who were more reserved and laid back, Emmett was a perfect fit to Rosalie's crazy and loud antics. Hell, he is just as crazy, and much louder than she is.

"We'll see," I answered her in a hopeful tone. I'd always dreamed of my perfect other coming into my life. It feels like I have been waiting forever. I've been patient though. I've only kissed two people, one of them being a dare by Rose, and I'm still a virgin. Probably one of the only virgins left in our county at the age of 18, actually, but I was in no rush. Besides, I had promised myself that tonight was the start of the rest of my life. We made our way up Rosalie's winding driveway, and saw that at least a dozen people were already there. Thankfully, Emmett had come early to keep an eye on things until we got there. We parked in the garage, and started to get out. I turned to Alice and Jasper, still stuck together by the mouth, and yelled.

"HEY! LOVE BIRDS! WE'RE HERE! COME GET SOME AIR! I HEAR IT'S GREAT FOR THE LUNGS!" Alice pulled away from Jasper in shock, and Rosalie was laughing hysterically.

"Nice one, babe." Rose said between laughs. Alice let out a sigh, and climbed out of the car, pulling Jasper behind her.

"Yeah, real nice," Alice huffed. Jasper started laughing along with Rose.

"Thanks, Bella. I was starting to loose blood flow in my lips," Jasper said, nudging Alice's shoulder.

"Oh, I see how it is," Alice retorted, and started stalking towards the house.

"She's a drama queen," I said to Jasper in a whisper, as I grabbed my bag from the floorboard.

"Tell me about it," he joked back. We followed Alice into the house, and I ran up the stairs to Rosalie's room not acknowledging anyone in the process, hoping to change out of this dress and feet-killing heels, before someone caught me. Once inside her room, I threw my bag onto the bed, and unzipped it quickly. I tossed the heels off, wincing in pain as I let my toes stretch out, and unzipped my dress, letting it fall to the floor. I dressed quickly into my outfit, and put my comfy worn in shoes on my swollen feet. I took the dozens of bobby-pins out of my hair, and washed my face in Rosalie's bathroom, only reapplying some mascara. My hair fell to the middle of my back, still in perfect curls, as I pulled it up into a ponytail. I didn't dare brush through it, because it would no doubt break the hairbrush from all the hairspray that Alice had plastered my scalp with. I looked in the mirror, and felt at ease.

"Much better," I said in a whisper to myself. I walked back into the bedroom, and picked up my dress. I reached for a hangar in Rose's closet, and slipped it through the black fabric. I glanced out the window next to me, as I shoved the dress into the already-full-of-clothes, closet. The backyard was illuminated in white Christmas lights, and at least a fifteen people were all out there chatting aimlessly. It didn't take me long to notice that I didn't recognize any of them. In fact, they all looked a couple years older than me. Most of them looked drunk already, while the rest were well on their way. I turned my head to look away, but did a double take, when someone caught my eye. There he stood; tall, lean, and with a head full of auburn colored hair. He wore jeans, a gray crew neck t-shirt, and was holding a glass of liquor in his hand. He was talking with some other guy who was plastered, and looked positively bored. My heart rate picked up when I got a full view of his face. He was beautiful, and perfect. He had stubble lining his jaw, and I wanted desperately to see his eye colour. My neck felt sweaty, and my hands were clenched. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Bella? You in here?" Rose's voice made me jump, and it hurt to look away from the boy in the backyard.

"Shit, Rose," I breathed out, clutching my chest.

"Sorry! Hey, what the fuck? You said you wouldn't change clothes!" She said angrily.

"Sorry, babe, but I couldn't take it anymore."

"Ugh, whatever. I was actually coming up to change, too," she said giggling.

"You suck," I said teasingly.

"You okay? You look flustered."

Yeah, I, uh, come here," She came and stood next to me as I pointed out the window to the bored boy, I was drooling over moments before. "Who's that?" Rose narrowed her eyes.  
>"Hmm, I don't know. Let's go find out!" I yanked her arm back, and gave her an evil look. "Okay, jeez. He's pretty hot though. I bet he came with one of Emmett's college friends." I nodded my head, and continued to stare at him. He had moved over to watch the game of Beer Pong. Rose started to changed her clothes, singing to herself.<p>

"Come on, let's go get a drink. I'll have Emmett introduce you." I tore my eyes from the window, and saw that she had changed into some jean booty shorts, and a halter top.

"No, that's alright. I'm fine with just looking right now," I said quietly.

"Fine, I'll let you be, but if you don't grow a pair within the next hour, I'll do it for you" She replied sternly. I believed her. We descended the stairs back to the kitchen, and I grabbed an Apple Smirnoff from the cooler and handed a beer to Rose. The party had really picked up, with people dancing, and yelling all over the place.

"Where's Alice?" I asked over the noise. I'd no doubt be super hoarse in the morning.

"Uh, she said that her and Jasper were going to join the Beer Pong game. Jasper and Emmett seem to think that they're is some sort of King at that game." We laughed and I couldn't help but look over to the kitchen window, longing to be outside. Rosalie surely noticed when I heard her sigh.

"Come on, lover eyes, let's go outside." My heart lifted, and I took a big swig of my drink. She took my hand and led the way through the back door. I giggled to myself when I noticed how different the music was from inside to out here. The night air was peaceful as I was met with Beyonce's voice yet again. I started to bob my head at Jay-Z and Beyonce's lyrics.

_J- All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend_

_B- Down to ride 'til the very end, it's me and my boyfriend_

I couldn't contain my eyes anymore when they began their search for the one that already had my heart in shambles. Rose kept a tight hold on my hand, as she pulled me over to the Beer Pong table. Jasper and Emmett were on either end, playing against each other furiously. The crowd of people cheering on their respective choice in their player. Alice stood close to Jasper, clapping her hands, and swearing at Emmett to distract him. Emmett, being the big kid that he is, held his own, and wasn't afraid to call her out on that game.

"Come on you, big douche! You know you suck!" She called out.

"Bitch, I'll show you who sucks!" Emmett yelled back. Rose dragged me to stand next to Emmett, to assume her place as the 'bitch talker' for his team.

"Alice, we are going to tear you guys apart!" Rose said, joining in easily.

"Bring it, Blondie!" Alice said smiling. I stood off to the side, laughing at their joyous antics. I spotted the boy I was looking for, walk over to the drink table, and begin to fill his cup with more vodka. I started to breathe heavily as my mind fought back and forth against itself. _Stay here? Go talk to him. No, stay. No! Don't be a little bitch!_ And with that, I found my feet moving in his direction. If I was strong enough, I would have shattered the thick glass bottle of Smirnoff in my hands, because of how hard I was gripping it. I chugged the rest of the drink, and tossed it into the trash can, as I passed it. Hey, at least if I choked up, I would have a reason for going over to the drink table. I slowed my stride, took a deep breath, smoothed my hair, and smiled. My core felt an instant pull to him as I neared his tall body. He was pouring some kind of juice into his glass, and swishing it around. I stood next to him, and stopped breathing. I was frozen, and forced my arms to move, but they refused. My mind started to freak out. _Shit! You should have stayed! What the fuck, now?_ Suddenly, the angel next to me, saved me from my thoughts.

"Can I get you a drink?" His voice was velvet, and as I turned to look at him, I let out a small gasp. His smile was sincere, and his eyes were the color of honey. They were so vibrant and warm, it had me wondering if he was wearing colored contacts. Suddenly, his hand waved in front of my face to get my attention, and I caught his scent. Musky, and sweet. How was I ever going to be able to speak?

"Um, yeah," was all I could come up with. I locked eyes with him, and felt the tension leave my body.

"What are you having?" He said sweetly. I had to think quick, because honestly, I didn't know. I hated beer, and there were no Smirnoff's out here.

"Whatever you're having," I said evenly.

"Vodka and Pineapple juice, it is." He turned to start my beverage, and I had to force my eyes away from him. I looked down at his long hands, moving in sync with the bottle of Absolut. He twisted the bottle in his hand, and then threw it in the air, and caught it effortlessly. I raised my eyebrows as he looked over to me, and laughed. Oh, God, his laugh. _Snap out of it, Bella!_

"Wow, where did you learn that?" He took the bottle and threw it even higher in the air this time, as it twisted beautifully. He caught it again perfectly, and I couldn't hold back my smile.

"I'm a part time bartender." His voice was proud, and he was so sexy. How was it that he was even speaking to me? Here I stood, plane as Jane, and he was like some Greek God in all his glory. A bartender? That means he is at least 21. A 21 year old, and me at 18? Yeah, right. I realized that I needed to relish in him as much as I could, before he no doubt, left me in his golden dust.

"That's really neat," I said quietly. _Neat?_

"Thanks. I've gotten a lot better. Trust me, it took a long time." He laughed again, and I felt myself sigh. I could imagine my eyes as big as flying saucers. I collected myself before I spoke again. He started to pour the pineapple juice into the vodka, and swished my glass in a circular motion before handing it to me, our hands almost touching.

"Thank you."

"No, problem," He said smiling. We met eyes again, and I smiled back. I took a sip of the mixed drink, and it was heaven. It was mixed perfectly.

"This is delicious!" I said, almost too loudly. He laughed at me kindly.

"I'm glad you like it. It's my favorite." I nodded my head at him, and took a bigger sip. I felt the vodka course through me, making me warm all over. I desperately wanted to be drunk. Not smashed, but drunk enough to calm my nerves. He leaned against the table, and looked back to the Beer Pong game.

"They're really going at it," He said motioning to my friends, cursing at each other.

"Oh, yeah. You should see them in about 45 minutes, when the profanity is slurred." I leaned against the table next to him, taking another sip of my drink. He laughed a loud laugh at the thought and took a sip of his, as well. I caught eyes with Rose and winked at her. She smiled from ear to ear, and started to thrust her pelvis in the air. She was already drunk. Unfortunately, the guy next to me noticed her ignorance.

"Is that your friend?"

"My best friend unfortunately, at the moment," I replied shyly.

We laughed together and it was such a beautiful sound. I tried to think of something to say, so that I could spend some more time with him.

"Are you from here?" he asked, while still looking over to my friends.

"Yes. Born and raised," I said in a dull voice.

"I'm jealous," he said quietly. That had me curious.

"Jealous?"

"Sure. Grow up in the same town all your life? Always knowing who is who, and having the same friends you do now, as you did in kindergarten," his voice trailed off. When he put it that way, I guess it wasn't so bad.

"Yeah, it is nice, I guess. I'm assuming you moved around, a lot?"

"My dad is a doctor in the Marines, so I've never spent more than a year in one place before. It's funny, because growing up, I always swore that as soon as I was old enough, I'd find somewhere and stay put for a long ass time, yet I get antsy when I'm in one place for too long." He was letting all of this flow out of him like he had kept it held in all his life. I welcomed it, because I wanted to know anything, and everything I could about him.

"That's not so bad. Look at it this way, I've never left the state of Washington before." He looked over to me, and raised his eyebrows.

"Seriously?" he was shocked. Who could blame him?

"Yes, seriously. So, for me, I can't wait to get out of here." I took a big swig of my drink, feeling myself loosen up even more. Finally. I was thanking Rosalie for offering such big glasses for drinks to be in.

"Damn, if I were you, I'd feel the same way." We laughed again, and saw that the Beer Pong game had ended in a tie with Jasper and Emmett bumping chests. People started to move around, and Rose went over to the iPod to change the music. Instantly couples grouped together and began to dance to Lady Gaga. I turned to face the beautiful creature next to me.

"I'm Bella." I extended my hand, and he took it. It was chilly, and felt amazing against my hot. I couldn't help but notice our hands were a perfect fit.

"I'm Edward." _Edward. Perfect._ We released our grasp, and smiled. "Well, Bella, would you like to dance?"

"Really?" I asked in shock.

"I work at a bar, remember? I'm used to it. Plus, this is my third cup, and I want to move," he said moving with the music. I laughed, and nodded my head. I finished off my tall glass before we set our drinks down, and I followed him into the crowd of moving bodies. Gaga ended and Basshunter came on loudly, causing my body to move with it's beat. I pulled my hair down from it's ponytail as Edward turned to face me, and put his hands on my waste. My heart shot through the sky, and I started to move my hips. I let everything slip away and allowed the alcohol to take it's effect. I twisted my body around to wear my backside lined with his crotch. Another perfect fit. He kept his hands on my hips as we moved together with ease. The music filled the air around us and I couldn't help but let my heart race with the lyrics.

_All I ever wanted was to see you smiling_

_All I ever wanted was to make you mine_

_I know that I love you_

_Oh, baby why don't you see_

_That all I ever wanted was you and me_

I was living in a dream that I never wanted to wake from. I never wanted his hands to leave my body. I turned back around to face him, our faces close, our breathing hard, and I threw my arms around his neck. The song changed to Cascada, and I swear it was a playlist created for Edward and I, because of how perfect it was. I could smell his pineapple breath that I'm sure matched mine, and before I knew what was happening, he leaned down and kissed me. My heart burst open with the connection, and the kiss turned from sweet to passionate quickly. Still managing to move with the music, our tongues met for the first time, tasting so sweet. I knew he heard the lyrics as I did, because he pulled me tighter to his body.

_'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static_

_And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky_

_Can't you feel my heart beat so,_

_I can't let you go,_

_I want you in my life_

I ran my hands up his back, until they mingled with his soft hair. It was if nothing was around us. Night had fallen, and if you looked out, you'd only be met with darkness. The Christmas lights dully illuminated the small space around us, as our kisses got deeper with the time that passed. I suddenly felt myself give in. I wanted him, and I didn't care about anything else. I started to pull away from him, and could see the hurt in his eyes. Instead of speaking, I grabbed his hand, and pulled him into the house with me. I marched up the stairs, maneuvering through people as quickly as I could. I felt drunk, but I wasn't my usual silly drunken self, and for that, I was grateful. I went for one of the spare bedrooms, and locked the door behind us. I pulled him towards me as hard as I could, and smashed my lips back to his, like he was my air support. He met my kiss with his own need, and started slowly walking us towards the bed. His hands were running up and down my back quickly and it was electrifying. I let my own hands drift beneath his shirt, and started to pull it off of him. He pulled away from our kiss, and pulled the shirt over his head and threw it to the ground beofre pulling my face back to his. I kicked off my shoes, and reluctantly pulled away from his mouth, to take my own shirt off. We fell onto the bed, and he wrapped his arm around me, scooting us both up to the pillows. I laid back and felt my body ease under his, loosing myself in his kiss. I ran my hands over his beautiful bare chest, and he pulled away, looking down at me with a smile.

"It's too quiet in here," he said.

"Lucky for you," I began, as I reached over to the nightstand, "Rosalie is so rich, she has iPods and iHomes in each room." I fiddled with the device, and set it to shuffle. Like outside, the most perfect song started to fill the silent room. I giggled to myself.

"How odd..." Edward said laughing now as well.

"You have no idea," I started to say, but his mouth was back on mine. I reached beneath myself to my bra, and unclasped it without a second thought. I'd always been embarrassed of my small B sized chest, but like everything else that had faded away, that went along with it, and I let it gladly. At least I made up for it in my ass. Breaking away from him to pull the black bra completely off, I felt his eyes on me.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, staring at my bare chest with caring eyes. I tried to picture what he saw. My dark hair sprayed across the pillow, and my pale skin creamy in the dark light. I wanted to cry at his beauty, and here he was feeling the same way about me. _Impossible_. I pulled him towards me in a hug, and reached for the button on his jeans. I let my hand trace along his waste band, and felt his breathing quicken against my neck. He reached for the button on his pants, and quickly undid it, sliding his jeans off. His boxers felt soft against my touch. I was surprised at how well I was doing. I'd never seen a penis in person before, and here I was about to touch one. Instead, I reached for the button on my jeans and took them off slowly. He raised his body allowing me to take them off, revealing my black underwear. I suddenly found myself wishing that I owned underwear like Rosalie. I reached for his boxers again, and pulled them down his body, revealing the most intimate and private part of him. He kicked the boxers off his feet and onto the floor, and put his full weight on top of me. I held him close for what felt like the thousandth time. I felt like I was twenty years in the future with him. I moved my hands down his back and pulled him tighter against me. I felt his hard meet my aroused area, and gasped. He pulled back and smiled, only the light from the moon outside illuminating his perfect face. He reached for my underwear, and started to slide them off. I raised up, giving him allowance, and when they were off, he positioned himself just right for a perfect entrance. It was happening, and I was allowing it. My mind felt far away from me, and I couldn't grasp it. I decided to let myself take him in, and feel his touch. He looked at me with a worried expression.

"Are you alright?" he was so sweet. If he didn't know I was a virgin now, he was about to find out.

"I've honestly never been better," I replied, and I pulled his pelvis down to mine, thrusting him inside of me. We both let out a gasp. Mine was a gasp of pain as I felt all my muscles contract. He groaned on top of me and started to slowly move himself in and out. I dug my nails into his back, and closed my eyes tightly. I tried with everything I had to loosen myself, so I opened my legs wider, and after a few times of in and out moving, it got better. I pulled his head from my neck, and kissed him with everything I had. Our tongues were on fire, igniting the other, and it began to feel good. He quickened his pace, with no sound but the soft music of Gorilla Zoe, and out breathing. I tried to reach for my mind, only to find that it had completely left me.

_I think I'm losing it_

_I might be losing it_

_I think I'm losing my mind_

_Am I losing my mind?_

_I'm so confused, I don't know what to do_

_And I need a clue before I run out of time_

_Am I losing it?_

I felt tears find my eyes because our intimacy was too much for me to bare. I tried as hard as I could to suppress them, but the realization of everything was coming down on me like a ton of bricks. I pulled him tighter to my chest as I started to feel the ecstasy of his movements.

"Edward," I breathed out heavily.

"Bella," he said back, thrusting harder, and then, I felt all control lost. I arched my back as I felt the most intense pleasure of my life. It was like perfect clock work as Edward came with me. My body radiated against his, and it was like time stood still. I let out a small cry, and buried my head into his neck, as he fell on top of me. We lay there still for what seemed like forever, before he moved off of me, and fear came into my lost mind. Was he going to leave? _Of course he is. _A tear escaped my eye without my knowledge as he reached up to my cheek, and swept it away. He positioned himself next to me and pulled me to his chest. He was staying. I let my tears fall silently, as he held me close to his heart. His central organ beating in time with mine, I couldn't help but try and reach for mind again. I grasped nothing, and decided to give up. I surrendered to his hold, and we fell asleep together. Just like that, nothing would ever be the same. I would never be the same.

_Hold me close, don't let go_

_Change of heart happens instantly,_

_Though it won't always show_

_I'm lost on my course_

_Come on, use all your force_

_Give in to the light_

_Keep my heart beating just right_

* * *

><p><strong>WOO! What do you think? I really love to add music to my stories, because when you think about it; there is a song for any and every emotion that you may be feeling. The songs in this chapter are:<strong>

**All I Ever Wanted-Basshunter**

**Everytime We Touch-Cascada**

**Lost-Gorilla Zoe Ft. Lil' Wayne**

**Bonnie and Clyde-Jay Z Ft. Beyonce**

**And the words at the very end are a poem that I have written specifically for this story. I do that a lot when you come across words/lyrics you may not recognize.**

**Leave me your thoughts!**

**-S**


	3. Chapter 3

**EPOV**

**Chapter 2:**

Something shrill was piercing through my slumber. Where was it coming from? I tried to peel my eyes open, but they were so heavy. I felt someone next to me, stir. Suddenly I came to life realizing it was my cell phone ringing, and the stirring creature next to me was Bella. I pulled my body up and lunged for my jeans to fish out my cell phone. I noticed it was an overseas call, so I answered it quickly practically falling off the bed as I stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door. An older woman's voice came through to my ears.

"Edward Cullen?" she spoke softly, and professionally in her french accent.

"Speaking," I said clearly.

"Hi, this is Barbra Louis and I'm calling to inform you that you have been chosen for the year long Civil Engineering program in France." My eyes popped open, and my blood started to course through me quickly. I can't believe I was the one chosen out of 300 hundred other students.

"Really? That's great! When do I leave?" I asked anxiously.

"The program starts next week, so we have booked you a flight for tomorrow." My shoulders slumped.

"That soon?" I asked hesitantly. I'd need to tell Mark at the bar, my parents...

"Yes, sir. We're hard on time, and needed to get started as soon as possible. Can you make it?" she asked quickly. I guess it was now or never. I needed this internship for my career. I was only going to be gone a year. I peaked back into the bedroom and saw a sleeping Bella. What would I tell her? I suddenly felt like a jerk, but I had to go.

"Yes, I can" I replied strongly.

"Perfect. Your airline fair has already been taken care of, and you can check in when you get to the Seattle airport. Your flight leaves at 2:30 pm. We look forward to working with you, Edward."

"Thanks, I'm looking forward to it as well." She hung up, and it took me a moment to move my frozen body. I was beyond excited, but I couldn't place the sour feeling in my stomach. My head began to thump, and my eyes started to water. How much did I drink? Not too much, apparently, because I remember everything about last night. I remember first arriving with Aaron, drinking, Beer Pong, and seeing Bella for the first time. My heart tightened at the thought. She was so gracious, and kind. Did I really dance with her? That was unlike me. Songs from the night before started to fill my head, and visions of Bella beneath me did as well. I suddenly got scared at how strong my feelings for her were, so I pushed them away. I'd only known the girl for what, twelve hours? I didn't even truly know her, actually, and now I wasn't even sure if I'd ever get to. How do I end this properly? I looked at my cell and saw that it was already after eleven in the morning. I needed to go pack, and take care of things before I flew to a different country for twelve months. My head thumped harder when I knew all the things I needed to get done, needed to get done now. I reached for a wash clothe and cleaned myself up before I threw my jeans on, and walked into the room for the rest of my clothes. Where the hell are my boxers? Bella was breathing peacefully and a small smile crossed her precious face. Her hair was all over the place, and one of her arms was above her head. The sheet was barely covering her chest, and I couldn't help but stare at her perfect sleeping self. I shook my head and walked over to the desk behind me. I quickly reached for a pen and sticky note. I thought for a moment before I wrote, my mind blank. I quickly jotted down what I could think of, and walked back over to where she lay. I put the note down on the nightstand, and reached over to pull a strand of hair off her pale forehead, noticing some scattered freckles splashed onto her face. I sighed, and kissed her head. I breathed her in one last time, and walked away feeling empty. What is happening to me? The rest of the house was trashed, and there were people sleeping all over the floor and one person even on the counter. A lot of the girls were in just their bras, and one of the guys I stepped over, had vomit on his chest. _Teenagers_. I closed the front door quietly as I made my way to my car, and before I knew it, I was headed back to Mark's.

I hit the county line for Port Angeles quicker than I thought I would. I reached for the pack of Menthol's in my glove compartment, and lit it. I took my phone out and sent a quick text to Mark telling him what was up. Man, he was going to be pissed. I was his best employee and I was only part time. I owed a lot to that guy. If it weren't for Mark, I wouldn't even have a place to stay. I have a dorm on campus, but I hate being around stupid people. I kind of like drifting around, never staying in one spot. I felt more free that way. Mark gave me a job at his local bar, and I was thankful for the extra cash. Now that I had this internship, I knew a lot of my living ways would change. Hell, I would change, but for the better I hoped. My mind started to think back to Bella. Who was she? It was very unlike me to have a night like that. Well, actually, it wasn't, except that last night had meaning, unlike my other drunken nights that I spent with girls I hardly knew. Bella captured me in a way that I never knew was possible. I felt bad for what I did now that I thought about it. I didn't regret it, but I wonder if she would. I took her virginity, and just left her. My reputation at school was the Man Whore on campus, which I always found amusing. I'm not sure who started the rumor, but it couldn't be more wrong. I bet it was because I was at most of the frat parties that went on, and drunk girls were always climbing on top of me. I'd turned more down than I'd had sex with, which isn't easy to do for a guy. Sure I'd had a few drunken nights that were hazy to me now, but I could still count how many women I had been with on one hand including Bella. Sex was just sex to me, because I was never looking for any kind of connection. I decided to let people think what they will, because it didn't bother me any. I would make it up to Bella somehow, someday. My phone started to ring again, and I saw that my dad was calling. I hit silent, because I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. For all I know, he is the one who finagled my way into the internship. My dad is a good man, but damn he sure is a meddler. The song playing quietly on Mark's iPod caught my attention so I turned it up. I was overwhelmed with the lyrics, and wished that Bella was in the seat next to mine. I wanted her to tell me everything there is to know about her.

_Let's go all the way tonight_

_No regrets, just love_

_We can dance until we die_

_You and I, we'll be young forever_

_You make me feel_

_Like I'm living a teenage dream..._

I didn't care much for the singer's voice, but the lyrics rang true. I needed to start my own playlist of all the songs that I shared with Bella. I pulled up to Mark's apartment, and sighed. Here goes nothing.

The Seattle airport was filled with busy people running around crazily. I stood in front of the large sign above me, and checked for my gate number. I had to dodge people weaving around me angrily, like I was in their way or something. I made my way to gate number 26A, in no rush., My flight didn't take off for another hour, and I was thanking myself for the Starbucks coffee I had bought a few minutes ago. I picked a seat furthest away from people against the windows. It had been raining all day, and I was glad. It seemed to suit my mood. It was hard to say goodbye to Mark, but I knew he would always be right there in Port Angeles with his Bar. At least my dad didn't keep me on the phone for hours on end. He and my mom planned to come visit me at Christmas. I took my phone out of my backpack to check for any missed calls. Nothing. I hoped more than anything that Bella would call or text me. I wonder what she was doing right now. I wish I had some way of getting a hold of her. Maybe she had one of those Facebook things. I took out my iPod and remembered thanking Mark for downloading my Bella playlist for me while I packed. I hit shuffle, and put my headphones in. Music ran through my head, and I remembered my night with Bella, once again. Did I have it bad or what? What is it that is so special about her? I remember how tight she felt around me, and how her mouth tasted so sweet. Her eyes were a deep brown that matched her long hair. She held onto me like I was going to jolt away from her at any moment. My heart swelled. What was I thinking? I wasn't the relationship type. I'd never had one before, and I wasn't looking for one now. I couldn't because I needed to focus on the new life I had ahead of me. I was thanking my mother for teaching me french at such a young age. I started to run through some phrases in my head to distract myself, but gave up when Gorilla Zoe began to play. I tightened my eyes and let my mind drift back to the inevitable.

_I'm lost on a road_

_Walking around looking for a place to go_

_I'm caught up in a world_

_Elaborath a maze_

_I think I'm loosing it_

**BPOV**

"Bella! Bella! Bella!" Alice's voice pierced through my head and I clutched my hears to try and drown her out. It worked until she started shaking me.

"What the fuck, Alice? I'm sleeping! What time is it?" I groaned in annoyance, and pulled myself from her grasp.

"Well, get up, it's after noon! I want to hear all about your night last night!" she squealed while clapping her hands. My eyes shot open and I sat up looking around me. I clutched the sheet around my naked body tightly. _Naked? _Alice raised her eyebrows confused. Had last night really happened? What did happen? I shook my head trying to remember when Edward's honey eyes came into my flustered mind.

"Oh, my God," I breathed out slowly.

"What? What is it?" Alice said loudly. I held my hand to her mouth to shut her up. My mind played back last night's events like a movie. Dancing with Edward, kissing Edward, sex with Edward. I gasped.

"I had sex with Edward." My voice was barely audible, but Alice unfortunately heard me clearly.

"WHAT?" She was screaming again and jumping up and down on the bed nearly knocking me to the floor.

"Alice, please! Shut up! My head is killing me!" I yelled out, hurting my own ears in the process.

"Oops! Sorry, Bella," she whispered.

"It's alright, just let me catch my bearings." She saluted me, and sat there quietly. I put my head in my hands and thought back to last night as hard as I could. Edward. Where was he? Did we really have sex? I tried to move my legs and I got my answer. I was sore beyond belief. It felt like my uterus was used as a punching bag.

"Um, Bella?" Alice said quietly. I groaned.

"Yes, Alice?"

"There's blood on the sheets," she said in a small voice. I turned to look over immediately and saw what she was talking about. Great. I was no longer a virgin.

"Hey! Look, a note!" Alice said enthusiastically. I grabbed the small yellow square from her hand and read aloud.

_Bella,_

_Something came up and I had to leave. I'm so sorry._

_Last night was beautiful._

_Thank you._

_-Edward_

_555-247-3611_

I sighed, and my heart began to hurt a little. He was gone. I knew this was coming, and I should have tried to prepare myself more for it. Who knew what that 'something' was that came up, and maybe it was an excuse to leave, but he did leave his number, too. I was so confused. I couldn't believe any of this. It was too much. I fell back onto the pillows and threw my arm over my face, letting silent tears flow.

"Oh, Bella, it's okay." Alice soothed. She laid down next to me, and put her arm over my stomach.

"I don't know what happened!" I cried out.

"What do you mean?" She asked softly. "Do you regret it?" I thought for only a second before I knew my answer. I didn't regret sleeping with him. Or did I? I think just regret it's timing.

"No, it just happened so fast, and now he's gone," I replied between sobs.

"You can call him!" she said trying to sound hopeful.

"I don't even know what I would say to him. I'm so embarrassed. I mean, if I was going to loose it to anyone, I'm glad it was Edward. I hardly know him, but he is it, Alice. I don't know how to explain it," I huffed out.

"You don't have to, sweetie. I feel the same way with Jasper."

"Yes, but you still have him," I said quietly. Edward was gone. "What if I never see him again? One night of passion, and that's all I get? It was so beautiful, how could it end like this?"

"It doesn't have to end, Bella. You can call him, okay?" She started to rub my arm in circular motions, calming me. My crying slowed, and I felt like an idiot. This wasn't how is was supposed to be.

"How could he leave like that? What if last night didn't mean to him what it did to me?" Fear was overruling my hope.

"You'll never know until you talk to him, babe." She was right.

Nightfall came, and after an emotional day to say the least, I was exhausted. My mother called right in the middle of my first crying session, and reminded me of the late lunch party I had to attend with her. I rushed home, got ready, and was proud of myself for being able to seem so normal around everyone, when inside, I was broken apart. I took a cold shower, and opened my bedroom window to let the summer breeze in. I sprawled out onto my bed, and grabbed Edward's note. Would he answer my call? I had been going back and forth all day on whether or not I should call him. 'Hey, it's Bella. Remember me? The girl who gave you her virginity last night?' So lame. I was terrified, but my fingers started to dial his number anyway. I slowly put the phone to my ear, and started to shake. '_You have reached; 555-247-3611; this number is no longer in service.'_ I snapped my phone shut and threw it to my nightstand. My heart sank, and tears flowed instantly. Was it a false number? After that kind of night, that kind of connection, was he really that kind of guy? Sobs shook through my body, as I tried to even out my breathing. I needed to stop this. _Stop hurting over someone who obviously doesn't give a damn_. _You don't even know his last name, for God's sake! _I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything but him. Anything but the feel of his skin, the smell of his breath, the feeling of him inside of me. How could someone I barely knew tear me this far apart? How did I allow this to happen? I knew dozens of girls who gave their virginity away like it was a burden to carry. For me, it was a supposed to be special, and I only wanted to give it to the person I would spend the rest of my life with. That was gone from me. How could I be so stupid? How could he be so heartless? I found myself hating him almost as much as I hated myself.

_Who do you think you are?_

_Running around leaving scars_

_Collecting your jar of hearts_

_And tearing love apart_

_You're gonna catch a cold_

_From the ice inside your soul_

_So, don't come back for me_

_Don't come back at all_

**EPOV**

_**2 months later**_

"Hey, dude, cheer up! You're bringing my mood down!" Juliette said loudly, catching my attention.

"Sorry, Jules, I'm just tired. They kept me at the office doing paperwork until midnight" I said yawning.

"What assholes. You're in Civil Engineering, not an office intern." She was right. I'd been here over two months, and still had yet to get out in the field.

"You're still going to come out tonight, right?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm so tired, and don't want to be around anyone at the moment," I said whining.

"I see how it is, you douche. I'll just go then," she said teasingly, and started to rise from her hotel.

"It's not you!" I said pulling her arm back down. "You know, since you're a lesbian, I can kick your ass," I said jokingly. Juliette was almost as tall as I was, and being a french model, she had some sass.

"I would crush you," she said narrowing her eyes, and flipping her long brown hair over her shoulder. She was the only friend I had here, so if it weren't for her, I'd go out of my mind.

"Come on, Edward. There's going to be a new band down at the pub, and I'll buy you a drink, okay?" she was pleading with me now.

"All right, fine, but you owe me way more than one drink."

"It's a deal! I'll meet you there at 8?" I looked down to my watch and I had just over an hour to get ready.

"Sure thing."

"Grande! Au revoir!" She kissed my cheek and was gone. I sat back further into my chair and looked out over my balcony. I had to admit, the hotel room they set me up in was pretty fantastic. It was more than enough room, but I couldn't help but get a little antsy and want to move. I took my cell phone out from digging into my back pocket and stuck it on the table. I thought back to Bella, and got sad. What if she had tried to call me? I didn't even think about my phone not working over here, and once I got here, they had already gotten me a new one. I wish there was some way I could find her. Juliette even set me up a Facebook, but even on their, I had no idea how to search for her. I wanted to hear her laugh again, and speak to her. Even if to just say hello, or I'm sorry. I bet she hated me, and I hated that. I wasn't the guy that I probably looked like to her. I tried to picture things if they were reversed. Loose it to a wonderful girl, wake up to her gone with nothing left but a post-it-note, and a number that doesn't even work. I sighed and tugged at my hair frustratingly. Maybe Mark knew one of those guys at the party, who knew her? What if she didn't care at all? _Fuck, I should have left a better note. What an asshole._ No, I should have tried harder, but it scared the shit out me. Two months later and I'm still thinking of the girl I barely knew. I wonder what her favorite color is, or food, or animal. Hell, I'd even like to know her last name. This is going to be along year ahead of me. I groaned and dragged myself to the shower. I placed my iPod on shuffle, and tried to think of anything else besides her. It was rather irritating, to be honest, and very unlike me. I'm twenty-three years old, and she was probably only eighteen. She had college coming up, and a new life to start. I guess I need to get back to starting mine. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I needed to let it be. I stepped into the hot steamy shower, and hummed along with the lyrics, trying to find myself.

_In my hour of darkness_

_She is standing right in front of me_

_Speaking words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

**BPOV**

Porch swings are a must have for any house. I sat swinging back and forth waiting for Alice and Rosalie to come over for a movie night. I told them that I hadn't been feeling well, and I didn't want to get them sick, but they insisted on coming over anyway. I was grateful actually, because it felt like I had been spending too much time alone. I hadn't been quite right since the graduation party, so I tried to find anything else to do to keep my mind of it. I felt like such a slut, until Rosalie stopped that thinking quick. She told me that I was a victim, and he was the slut. Maybe she was right, but I was honestly too tired to even think about him anymore. What's done is done. Just then I started to hear Kesha's loud voice booming from Rosalie's speakers as I saw the street light come on. Her red dragon beast pulled into my driveway much too quickly, and I was thankful that my parents wouldn't be home until later. My dad would have flipped out on her for reckless driving. I laughed to myself as they got out of the car and stretched.

"Hey baby!" Rose called out waving her hand.

"Hey," I said waving back.

"Are you ready for a scary movie?" Alice asked in a spooky voice.

"Sure am! What did you pick up?" I loved scary movies.

"The Uninvited. It's looks pretty bad ass and twisted," she said coming up the steps and hugging me.

"Wow, Bella. You don't look so hot," Rose said pulling away from me quickly.

"Gee, thanks Rose" I said sarcastically. I was in sweats and a big t-shirt. My face was extra pale, and my hair was up in a messy bun. Rosalie was always dressed like she was going out to a night club, and Alice was even dressed up a little. "You guys look fancy," I said touching Rose's sequin halter.

"Yeah, well, what looks good, is good! Didn't you know that, Bella?" I laughed at her philosophy and turned to lead them inside. "The pizza should be here any minute, so we can start the movie if you'd like," I said turning to Alice. She nodded her head and they went upstairs to change out of their fancy clothes. I grabbed a blanket and sat down on the couch, feeling extremely tired. I even took a nap today, what the hell? Alice came down first in her pajamas and put the movie in before cuddling up on the couch with me. Rose brought us a few Sprites, and joined in.

I ended up falling asleep half way through the movie, unfortunately. When it ended, Alice started to wake me up, but I beat her to it, and ran for the bathroom. I hurled my pizza and sat down on the tile floor feeling the coolness and started to heave again. Rose and Alice came in quickly and pulled my stray hairs out of my face. I felt better now that my stomach was empty and the girls helped drag me to my bed. I laid down and pulled the covers up to my neck feeling dizzy.

"I'm sorry, guys," I said in a small voice.

"It's okay, Bella, it's not your fault." Alice said smiling.

"Hey, at least you two aren't on your period," retorted Rose from the edge of my bed. "It's driving Emmett and I crazy."

"Bella and I just ended ours actually, so ha!" Alice said pushing her shoulder.

"It's so weird that you two are in sync like that. I mean, you don't even live together." My mind started moving like the speed of light, and I felt even more dizzy.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Alice said comfortingly.

"I you're gonna puke again, go towards Alice's side!" Rose said laughing. I jolted upright and looked to Alice counting in my head, and using my finges.

"Alice," I started loudly, "I didn't just end mine..."

"Okay...? Maybe we got a little mixed up and off track. It's no big deal, Bella," she replied confused. I counted again and reached for my phone on the bedside table. I opened it up, and immediately went to my period app.

"Shit, shit, SHIT!" I yelled. Rose and Alice looked worried and stood up.

"Bella, what's going on?" Rose said.

"I missed my period," my voice was far off.

"So you're late a few days, it's no big deal, babe," she said as she came and stood next to me.

"No, you don't understand," I said quickly. My breathing picked up, and I had to sit down. "I missed last month's all together..." my voice trailed off at the sight of their eyes growing wide. No one spoke for what seemed like an eternity as I sat and started at the calender on my phone.

"You've been sick..." Alice started, as I nodded my head. Alice's mother was a traveling nurse, so she knew way more about this than I did.

"Didn't you and Edward use protection?" She asked in a serious tone. The sound of his name hurt to hear, but I forced that pain away. I was in shock, and I wanted to die.

"No? I mean, I don't really remember..." I said plainly.

"He probably thought you were on Birth Control, honey," Rosalie said. I stood up angrily.

"How could he just assume that?" I yelled out and started to pace. "I mean, what the fuck? Just because I'm a girl, that means I must be on some kind of baby prevention medicine?"

"No, but did you ask if he had a condom?" she said calmly. I didn't, so I realized that it was my fault just as much as it was his.

"No, I didn't, okay? I was drunk! He was drunk! How can this be happening to me! I'm only nineteen years old!" I knelt down to my knees and started to hyperventilate. Alice sat down next to me and rubbed my back.

"You need to calm down, Bella. It's going to be alright," she said in a sweet voice.

"How is it going to be alright, Alice? I have no idea who is he, where he is, and I'm going to have his child? What about college? What about my life? Oh, my God, what about my parents?" I started breathing more heavily and rocking myself back and forth feeling the room spin around me.

"Alright, I'm going down to Walgreen's to get you a fucking pregnancy test," Rose shouted. She stalked out of the room, and left Alice with me on the floor, beginning to cry.

"Why me?" I asked her.  
>"These things happen, Bella. Everything happens for a reason," she said quietly. I took in her words and started to cry harder. Me? A baby? I put my hand to my abdomen and rubbed it soothingly. I was fucking up my life, and the child's life growing inside of me. I had no knowledge or means to care for a baby, and that wouldn't be fair to him. Or...her? Alice started to pull me onto the bed and wrapped her arms around me, letting me cry. I tried not to think of anything but the little person that I knew was inside of me.<p>

A few days and three pregnancy tests later, I had started to calm down ,and think rationally. Alice had brought me a few pamplets from the hospital for me to look over, and I found it hard to concentrate on anything.

"Bella?" She asked breaking me free from my thoughts. I looked up to her, and smiled. Thank God for Alice. I was going to tell my parents the news on this beautiful Sunday morning, and Alice said she would do it with me. She was good at keeping Charlie calm, that's for sure. Rosalie had an early orientation tomorrow morning it Port Angeles, so she couldn't be here, but said she was in spirit. I had ran through several different scenarios in my head starting with the worst, first. They'd kick me out and disown me, or worse, want me to have an abortion. That wasn't even something that crossed my mind. I wouldn't take this baby's life away because of my own lack of judgment. Adoption was the next option. Well, an option that they would mention, not me. I had promised myself that I would keep this child, and give it the best life that I could. I knew I would love it more than anyone else in this world could, because I already did. I was terrified. Not of the whole pregnancy process, but of being a mother. I felt like I was still a kid. Hopefully my parents would come around, because I could use their help. I needed them more than ever before. Alice broke my thoughts again.

"Bella?" she said louder this time.

"Yeah, sorry, Al. I'm just thinking. I can't focus on these right now," I said waving the papers in my hand. I glanced at the kitchen clock, and my heart rate quickened. My parents would be getting home from work anytime.

"Okay, that's all right. What have you decided?"

"I'm keeping the baby, Alice. It's the right thing to do." I said firmly. It felt good to say. I was a bit surprised at how fast my motherly instincts were kicking in. Alice nodded her head and smiled.

"What about college?"

"I spoke to my counselor and told her my situation, and I will still go this semester, and take next semester off. She said I could start online classes as soon I am able to go back." School was still vital and important to me, especially since I would have someone else to take care of in seven months. _Wow, seven months? Would I be ready by then?_

"That's good," Alice said brightly. "I'm glad you're still going to go. And hey, at least you're not 16 like so many other girls out there. That seems impossible."

"You're right. Everything is going to be all right." I felt confident and strong.

"I just have one other question," Alice said quietly. "What about Edward?"

"What about him?" I said honestly. I hadn't even thought of him as a factor.

"Well, aren't you going to tell him?"

"He doesn't deserve to know, in my opinion. Especially after seeing his Facebook." I felt anger return to me.

"His Facebook?" she said shocked.

"Yeah, Rose found him and came over to show me, since I refuse to get an account. It doesn't look like he gets on it often, but his profile picture was of him and some tall brunette in front of the Eiffel Tower," I seethed out. "So, he's a whore, and apparently moved to France."

"Wow, what an ass," she said angrily.

"Exactly." I heard the front door open and suddenly felt sick again.

"They're here," Alice said as she grabbed my hand. I took a deep breath and squeezed her grasp.

"Here goes nothing," I stated, and stood from the table to go take my death sentence. One thing was certain; This baby is now my life, and nothing would take it away. My parents loved me just as much as I loved my baby, so I kept that close to my heart.

_Sometimes I'll protect you from everything that's wrong_

_Other times I'll let you, Just find out on your own_

_But that's when when you'll be growing_

_And the whole time I'll be knowing_

_You're gonna fly_

* * *

><p><strong>SADNESS! It will get better, I promise!<strong>

**Song Inspirations:**

**Teenage Dream-Katy Perry**

**Lost-Gorrila Zoe Ft. Lil' Wayne**

**Jar of Hearts-Christina Perry**

**Let it Be-The Beatles**

**You're gonna be-Reba McEntire**


	4. Chapter 4

**EPOV**

**Chapter 3:**

_4 and a half years later..._

Time. How fast it can go without your knowledge of its passing. You wake up one day, and you're not where you thought you might be the night before. This feeling has been coming to me a lot lately. Here I was, 25 years old, and I didn't have much to show for my life thus far. My father likes to think otherwise, of course. He's a good man, but he doesn't realize what I truly want from my life. I have been successful in my career. After moving back to the States from France, two years ago, I have done well for myself, because of how hard I tried. I worked on major railways, underground water systems, and highways all over the country. I was happy. At least, I thought I was, until I realized how alone I am. It's interesting to me, because I've always relished in being alone. I've always fought to be alone, until recently. I wanted a life with meaning. Meaning being a wife, children, and love. The problem was, I didn't know how to look for it. I didn't meet the type of woman that I would like to marry, everyday. I didn't know it was so hard to find, until I noticed that I hadn't found it. I hadn't dated anyone in well over a year, and anytime I have dated, it hasn't lasted longer than a month. I felt like I needed to give up and let her find me. That had me feeling like I would be waiting for an eternity. And work? Well, my career was far from boring, but after a while it became so stale. I got up, worked, came home, and repeated the process feeling like it would never end. Like nothing exciting would ever happen. So, I quit my job at the major company I had been with, and couldn't feel more free. I have decided to start my own business, small, and conventional. I searched across the U.S. For the best possible place to start, and nothing has come up. Here I sit in Dallas Texas, finished with my last project, staying in some random hotel room, and decided to keep on searching. I know what I want, and just like I worked for my career, I'd work for happiness as well. I opened my laptop and went straight to Google. I flicked my lit cigarette into the ash tray on the table next to me, before I took another hit of it. I tried to think of where I wanted to live, but nothing was coming to mind. I laid my head back onto the bed frame, and thought back. Where was I most happiest? I had no friends, and my parents were retired, and traveling the world. I have no one. I thought harder. Mark! I wonder what he's been up to. We haven't talked in at least a year, and then he was exactly where I left him, except he was married. _Lucky bastard. _I reached for my phone and decided to call him. Maybe he would help me sort all of this out.

Before I knew what was really happening, I found myself arriving at the Port Angeles airport one morning in October. The air was considerably colder than the heat that Texas was still suffering through. I managed to get my luggage with everything still in tact, and slammed the Cab trunk lid tightly, before getting in. I gave the driver my destination, and we were off. I was meeting Mark at his bar, and I was excited. I hadn't felt excited about anything in a long time. Mark helped me more than he would ever know. He helped me get the job to redo the flood draining system in Forks, and even get my own building leased out for my new office. I hadn't been around here since I left, over four years ago, and was glad to see that nothing had really changed except for me. I looked at it in a new way, and knew that it was home. As I stared out the Cab window, I relished in the thunderstorm that was going on around me, and felt like this was the time of my life. A new start, for a new man.

I made it to the bar just as the storm started to get a bit worse. I poked my head in and was happy to see that it was full of people. At least Mark was still getting excellent business. I looked around at the familiar place that I used to work at, and noticed he had remodeled. A lot of the new wall hangings I didn't recognize until I looked up above the mirrors behind the bar and saw the sign I had stolen for Mark on his 24th birthday. 'Jointed Place.' Mark was scared that I was going to get arrested once I had stolen it, if a cop came here and saw it, but back then, I didn't care one bit.

"EDWARDO!" My nickname from Mark rang through my ears and I turned to see my old friend jogging towards me, with open arms.

"MARCUS!" I called back, as we gave each other a quick tight embrace before pulling apart. I patted his back with a loud smack, and he shoved his hand through my head full of hair.

"It's been so long! I'm glad you're here," he said smiling.

"I am too, man. It feels good to be here," I said firmly, as he nodded.

"Want a beer?"

"You read my mind," I said laughing. We walked to the bar and I took a seat at a stool.

"Hey, Emmett!" Mark called to one of the guys at the end of the bar. The stalky muscular guy looked up and walked over to us smiling. "Two brewsky's please. Did you ever meet Edward?"

"Uh, can't say that I have," Emmett said extending his hand for me to shake. "Emmett Scott." I shook his hand and smiled.

"Edward Cullen," I replied nicely. The guy looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't place it. "You look familiar, actually," I said pondering. Emmett smiled and looked like he thought felt the same way. Mark looked between the two of us laughing.

"I think you guys went to the same school," Mark said.

"Yeah, that's got to be it," Emmett replied.

"Yeah, must be," I said far off. Weird.

"Edward used to work here, actually," Mark said smiling.

"Really? I love it here. I wish I could do it full time," Emmett said sadly.

"Man, I told you to quit that snob job and become my partner!" Mark said loudly. They noticed my confused expression.

"Emmett is a lawyer with his hot wife, and hates it." Mark said in a dull voice.

"He's right, on all accounts," Emmett said laughing loudly. "I just work here a couple nights a week, because I enjoy it." I smiled and laughed with him. I knew what it was like to hate your job. Well, I didn't hate mine, I just lost my passion for it, unfortunately.

"I know how you feel, minus the wife part," I said jokingly.

"Yeah, Edwardo over here is going to be a bachelor for the rest of his life," Mark said nudging my arm playfully.

"Gee, thanks friend," I said sarcastically. Emmett laughed loudly again and brought us two beers. I look a long swig of mine like it was the air I needed.

"Poor guy. Hey, my wife may be able to hook you up with someone, though! We're actually having a party in a few weeks for Halloween at our cabin on the beach. You should come," Emmett said nicely.

"That sounds great, yeah," I said honestly.

"Perfect. You still need to meet Angela, too! And when the little one comes, you'll be Uncle Edwardo!" Mark said enthusiastically. My eyes grew wide and warmth filled my stomach.

"You guys are expecting?" I said in shock.

"Just found out today! She's due in June. I hope it's a little boy, man. I don't know if I could handle living with two girls!" Mark said playfully.

"That's so great. I'm pretty excited to be an uncle!" I said. I couldn't help but feel jealous of my good friend, but I knew it was all in good time. I would feel the happiness he felt, soon enough, I just needed to be patient.

"Hey, what about me?" Emmett said punching Mark's arm from across the bar.

"Oh, you get to be Aunt Emmett, of course," Mark said in a sad impression of a girls voice. I laughed loudly at their joking. It looked like things were going as they should, and I felt like I was meant to stay here for a long time. Maybe I never should have left.

**BPOV**

_3 weeks later..._

_Time passes in moments... _

_moments which, _

_rushing past define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end. _

_How rarely do we stop to examine that path,_

_to see the reasons why all things happen, _

_to consider whether the path we take in life is of our own making_

_or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed. _

_But what if we could stop, _

_pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes?_

_Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? _

_And, seeing those choices, choose another path?_

I couldn't believe that Autumn was finally upon us. I love this time of year, despite the freezing wet weather. It was going to be Christmas in just under two months, and that got me excited. I felt like a little girl when I thought about December. I mostly cared for the food and the decorations, but the presents were a nice add to it. Thinking of Christmas had me on the computer already putting things on Layaway. I wanted to get all the people who mean the most to me, a perfect gift. They've all helped me so much, I wish I was able to repay them all. I guess I should get off the computer and close up the office, though. My mother had already left work to get home to make dinner, so that left me, and fifteen other whining animals in the back. It was insanely irritating at first, but I'd grown used to it over the years. Plus, if it weren't for my parents, and those whining creatures, I wouldn't have a job at all. At least I was able to finish two years of school and get my associates degree in Veterinary Technology. Even with all the other crazy things going on in my life, I managed a 4.0, and only missed one day of class. I hoped that in a few years, I would be able to go back and get my bachelors. A few years sounds far away to some, but to me, time no longer existed. It flew by without any of us being able to slow it down. It held no remorse for anyone, and it was infuriating. I was 23 years old, and I felt like I was 40. AS I shut down the computer, I heard a noise coming from the back, and couldn't place what it was. I stood up quickly and ran back to my mother's office when I realized my phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I said out of breath.

"MOMMY! When will you be here? Grandma said that dinner is almost ready," My daughter's voice sent warmth to my heart, and I smiled.

"Tell her I am about to lock up and leave, okay sweetie?" I heard her sigh over the phone.

"Okay, but you've been gone forever!" She said whining. I couldn't believe that I was blessed with someone so beautiful, and someone who loved me as much as she did. I didn't feel worthy of her perfection.

"Grace Lynn," I said sternly. "You know that mommy has to work, right?"

"Yes," she said in a small voice.

"Okay, good. I will be there in 20 minutes, alright?"

"Okay!" She yelled. "Can I count to twenty?" I smiled at her knowledge. She was only four and a half, and already doing things that kids a couple years older than her did.

"Well, you'll have to count to 60, twenty times, my love. You remember why, right?"

"Because there are 60 seconds in a minute!" She said proudly.

"That's right," I said just as proud. I started to lock doors as I passed by them, and grabbed my coat before heading out into the dreary weather.

"Okay, when can I start counting?"

"Right now."

"Okay, mommy, I'll see you soon!" I could hear that she was about to hang up so I stopped her.

"Gracie," I said.

"Oh! I almost forgot! I love you, mommy!" she said in her angelic voice.

"I love you more, sweetheart," I replied, and hung up, locking the main door behind me.

As I pulled into my parents' driveway just after 6, I noticed how short the days were getting in light. My childhood home had orange lights up around the front porch that Grace helped my mother string for Halloween. I saw Alice's car parked in the driveway next to my dad's cruiser, as I got out of my Camry. I started my way up the front steps when I saw the door fly open, and got ready for Grace to jump into my arms. I hated that I had to work all day, but at least she was in preschool, and not just sitting at home with Alice all day.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy!" she yelled as she ran and jumped into my arms. I caught her in my arms and almost fell back down the stairs as I hugged her tight.

"Hi, baby!" I said after I kissed the side of her head.  
>"Grace Lynn Swan," I heard my dad say from inside the house. Grace twisted around in my arms to look at him.<p>

"Yes, grandpa?"

"Let your mother get into the house before you jump on her, alright? You're going to break her back!" He teased.

"I won't break her back, silly! I'm not heavy enough!"

"No, but you are a big girl, right?"

"Yes, sir! The biggest of girls!" She said. She jumped out of my arms and ran to my father jumping into his. He faked pain and stumbling while she laughed. She wasn't any bigger than any other kid her age, but I wasn't as strong as people my age. I'd always been a whimp. I don't think I gained an ounce of muscle until Grace was born because I carried her around everywhere. I walked into the house and took my coat off to hang on the coat rack as I closed the front door. Pork Loin and mashed potato's radiated through the house as I took a big wiff of it. Grace had my dad pinned down on the living room floor attempting to tickle him. I laughed at their silliness and headed for the kitchen.

"Smells good, Mom," I said as I walked over and took a piece off a roll that had just come out of the oven.

"Isabella Marie! You quit that. You haven't even washed you hands!" My mother said angrily. I rolled my eyes and went to the sink and did as told.

"She'll never learn," Alice teased. I looked over to her setting the table and stuck my tongue out at her.

"How was Grace, today?" I asked her casually.

"She's was great, as always. I picked her up at noon. She took a nap, and then I helped her label one of the homework sheets that her teacher gave out. She counted to twenty, faster than I did," she said laughing.

"That's my girl," I replied smiling widely. "Where's Jasper?" I said looking around.

"Oh, he had to go over to Port Angeles and give a statement to Rosalie on one of their new cases. He won't make it for dinner."

"Well then he better be here next week, because I intend to get revenge on him for winning Apples to Apples last week," I said teasingly. Alice and Jasper got married out of high school in December, just like everyone said they would. They are perfect for each other so I understood why there was no point in waiting. Two two years ago Jasper got signed on as my dad's deputy, and Alice decided that she didn't want to go to college. She'd actually became Grace's full time nanny once I was back in school, and has been ever since. If it weren't for her, I'd have to put Grace in Day Care, to keep working to pay my bills. I had to admit though, I was a bit jealous that Alice got to spend all day with her, because I missed her so much, but I was more grateful than jealous.

"Bella, go get your dad and Gracie. It's time for dinner." I nodded my head at my mother and went to the living room.

By the time we made it home, Grace was already asleep in my arms as I carried her into her lavender colored bedroom. She was only up this late once a week when we had dinner at my parents' house. It was only 8:30, but she usually was in bed by 7. She always has loved to sleep. My parent's always teased me saying that I had the best baby in the world. She's never been sick, she's incredibly smart, and she loves to sleep. I laid her onto the bed, already dressed in her pajamas that my mom had, and pulled the covers up to her neck. I kissed her forehead, and moved her ringlet curls out of her face. She's pale like me, and already had a few freckles on her cheeks. Her eyes were a deep brown color that she got directly from me and my dad. If it weren't for her auburn hair color, she'd be a spitting image of me at that age. In the sunlight, she had a deep shiny red tint to it, and it hung just below her shoulders. She had his hair: thick and wild. It was beautiful on her, but every time I noticed it, I felt a pain twist inside of me. I stood up and looked down on her little sleeping face. I turned her night light on beside her bed, and saw butterflies dance across the walls in different colors. I sighed and turned to walk out of her room, leaving the door slightly cracked behind me.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, it wasn't from my alarm going off. I had a tiny little girl on top of me singing at the top of her lungs.

"JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW," she sang out. I put my hand to her mouth and smiled.

"Not so loud, baby, it hurts my ears."

"You don't like my singing, Mama?" she made her lips pout and folded her arms across her small chest.

"Of course, I do," I said reasurringly. "It's just that mommy isn't really awake yet, so it was loud." She unfolded her arms and smiled.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I pulled her down to me in a hug and started to tickle her rib cage as she yelled out in laughter. She had the best laugh. It always put a smile on my face. I smiled even wider when I realized that it was Friday. Just like any other adult, I looked forward to the weekends immensely. It meant that I'd get two whole days to be with Gracie. My phone started to ring on the night stand and Grace reached for it answering in her best impression of Squidward.

"Hello," she moaned out. I laughed quietly to myself. "Sure, she's right here! Mama, it's grandma," she said handing me the phone. I sat up in bed and stretched my legs.

"Hey, mom," I said yawning.

"Hey, don't worry about coming into work today, alright? The rain flooded the office again so we took the animals to the shelter down town while they repair it over the weekend."

"Again? Damn, I thought they fixed it the last time," I said rubbing my face. Grace looked over to me with a frown.

"You said a bad word, mommy," she said waving her finger at me. I whispered 'sorry' to her, as I listened to my mom speak again.  
>"Yeah, well it's the storm drains that need to be fixed in this town, but I heard that they finally hired someone for it. Anyway, Alice called this morning and wanted to know if you were up to a free weekend?" she asked hesitantly.<p>

"What do you mean?" I instantly knew where this was headed.

"Well, apparently Rose is having a few people out at their cabin for a Halloween party, and we thought you might want to go. Your dad and I would be happy to keep Grace." I knew what she was trying to do, and I hated it. They were all plotting against me to go out and 'live a little' as they say, but I was perfectly fine staying at home with Grace.

"No, it's okay mom." I said quietly.

"Come on, Bella, please? It would be fun, and your dad wants to take Grace to a science museum in Port Angeles tomorrow. You need some time for yourself, so we're not taking no for an answer." She said in her stern motherly voice. I knew that it was pointless to argue with her.

"Fine."

"Great! I'll be by in a couple hours to get Grace. See you then." She hung up before I changed my mind and decided to fight her on it. I groaned and laid back onto my pillows. Grace had turned cartoons on, and laid her head on my stomach.

"Hey, Gracie," I began slowly.

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel about staying the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Like a sleepover? Can I mommy, please?" She was jumping up and down on the bed at this point.

"Well gosh, okay then," I said feeling relieved. It'd be the first time that I'd spend more than one day without seeing her, and here she was practically waiting for it to finally happen.

"Yay!" She said enthusiastically.

"I'll miss you, baby," I said once I yanked her down towards me for another hug.

"Can't...breathe...mama," she said softly. I released her quickly and poked her nose. She giggled and kissed my cheek.

"Come on, let's go make breakfast," I said getting off the bed and pulling her with me.

"Pancakes?"

"Sure," I said smiling. She started clapping and ran for the kitchen. This weekend was going to be tough on me, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

I felt small tears come to my eyes as I clutched Grace to my chest.

"Bye, mommy!" she said pulling away from me.

"Bye sweetheart. Call me tonight, okay?" I said as I blinked back tears quickly, not wanting her to see them fall.

"I will. I love you," she said as she pulled my face to hers and kissed me.

"I love you, more," I whispered. I stood up and handed her her princess backpack. She slung it over her shoulders and took my mother's hand in hers.

"Have fun, honey, and don't worry yourself to death, okay?" My mother said sweetly.

"Okay, I'll try," I replied in a small voice. They walked out to the car, and my mother buckled Grace into her seat before getting in herself, and driving away. Just before I closed the door, feeling empty and alone, Alice pulled into the driveway. I smiled at her timing and waved her inside. I walked back to the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess Grace and I made from making pancakes.

"Hey, Bells," Alice said brightly. She was carrying a big shopping bag and came to stand next to me.

"Don't 'Hey Bells' me," I said smoothly. "I know you and mom tag teamed me into this."

"Aww, come on! Live a little! You're like an old lady! If I had asked, you would have said no, and hung up on me."

"Yes, I would have. And just so you know, I will go, and I will have a lousy time." I was getting pretty pathetic by this point. _You're not 40, remember?_

"You're acting ridiculous, Bella. It's going to be a blast. We haven't seen Rose in over a month! It'll be like old times. Please Bella?" I sighed and decided to give in. I would suffer in silence, and not let anyone see it.

"Fine," I groaned. I knew she was right, but I couldn't help but feel bad. I didn't feel like I deserved to go out and have fun. Now that I'm a mother, I felt like I had to leave that in the past. Once Grace was born, everything became all about her, and I was happy about that. Obviously sometimes I missed going out with friends, but what if something happened to Grace while I was gone? I would never be able to live with myself. I sighed again, and decided to try my best to have a good time. Everything was going to be fine, and it would be nice to get away.

"Okay, great! Let's go get you packed," Alice said brightly, as she yanked me down the hall and up the stairs.

"Alice, I can pack for myself you know," I said annoyed.

"Um, no you cannot. Plus, I promised Rose that I would help you. You'd pack sweat pants and baggy t-shirts," she said in a disgusted tone. She walked over to my closet and pulled out my duffel bag. She stood back and examined my closet carefully.

"What's wrong with that? I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing weekend, not a cocktail party," I said mocking her.

"A few of Emmett's friends will be there, too, and who knows? You may like one of them!" I stood up angrily.

"This better not be a 'find Bella a man' weekend," I seethed out.

"Oh, please," Alice said rolling her eyes and pulling out a few shirts. "Would you give it up, already? You're allowed to date!"

"Al, I don't want to date." _That's not entirely true._

"Yes, you do. You're lonely, and you might meet the love of your life this weekend, so get over it." She was getting annoyed with me now. I groaned and sat back down on the bed feeling defeated. Alice grabbed the bag she had brought with her, and started pulling out new clothes.

"Uh, what's all that?" I said confused.

"New clothes. You desperately needed some cute winter clothes," Alice said as if it were nothing.

"Jeez, now you're shopping for me? This is high school all over again!" I sighed.

"Bella, they're going to look so cute on you! Look at this sweater dress. Wouldn't it go perfect with some leggings and your brown knee high boots?" She held up a long navy blue sweater dress and I couldn't argue. It was pretty cute. "I pretty much bought your entire wardrobe for this weekend, so a thank you should be in order," she said teasingly.

"Alright, thanks," I said in a small voice. This weekend was going to be an eternity in hell, I just knew it.

After a 2 hour car ride out to the beach, we made it to Rosalie's cabin. I hadn't been here in years, and had forgotten how beautiful it was. The trees hovering over it were illuminated in fall colored leaves, and the dark cedar wood of the house smelt so good. There were a few cars that I didn't recognize, and I suddenly felt nervous. The house was set up a ways from the beach, and I could hear music playing from inside the house. It looked warm and inviting. Alice and I made our way inside, duffel bags in hand. The inside smelt even better with pumpkin spice making my mouth water. It was decorated beautifully, and had candles lit in all the rooms I could see.

"MY GIRLS ARE HERE!" Rosalie said as she ran down the staircase and threw her arms around Alice and I. I hugged her as tight as I could, realizing how much I missed her. Ever since she moved to Port Angeles with Emmett, and was in school, we saw her less and less. "I'm so glad you came! But, um, I actually need to talk with you guys alone," she started to say, lowering her voice. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity.

"Bella! Alice!" Emmett said in his booming voice. He marched over to us and gave hugs.

"Emmett, I need to talk to them," Rose said pushing him away.

"Come on, babe," Emmett protested. "Let them say hi to everyone first." Emmett pulled on me and Alice's arm dragging us out onto the back deck, before Rosalie could protest. She somehow managed to get Alice out of his grasp, but I was already out on the deck. I saw a man and woman that I didn't recognize who smiled over at me. I suddenly felt shy, but returned their smile.

"Bella, this is Mark and his wife Angela," Emmett said.

"Hi," I said quietly. Mark nodded to me and smiled widely.

"It's so great to meet you," Angela said, coming over to shake my hand sweetly. "Rosalie talks about you and your daughter all the time." She is a very pretty woman with long black hair braided down her back. She wore small black framed glasses, and was wearing a tye-dye scarf around her neck.

"That's really sweet," I said.

"Mark and Angela are actually expecting their first kid, soon!" Emmett said proudly. I felt more at ease with this news, for some reason. Like they were more relatable to me, now.

"That's amazing! I'm really happy for you guys," I said grabbing her hand again and patting it.

"Thanks! We're really looking forward to it," Angela said looking over to Mark who was gazing at her. I longed for someone to look at me like that, so it was nice to see them so in love. Angela went to stand next to Mark, and he put his arm around her waste perfectly.

"Where's Edwardo?" Emmett asked looking around him.

"Oh, he went to grab me a beer, here should be right...Oh, here he is!" Mark said. I turned my head and couldn't contain the gasp that left my mouth. He stood just as tall and handsome as I remembered. His eyes were honey warm, and his smile left his face as soon as we made eye contact. I tried to let out a small smile, but I was incapable of moving. He stood there in shock, looking like he wanted to smile at me as well. Flashbacks from years before started to fill my mind, so I shook my head furiously, forcing them to leave.

"Um, Bella?" Emmett said slowly while frowning at my sudden antics. I looked over to him quickly. "This is Edward," he said pointing.

"Yeah, we've met, actually," Edward said in a quiet voice. His voice, so sound, so perfect. _You hate him, remember?_

"Really? When?" Emmett was shocked, but Mark just kind of smiled. Did he know about me?

"Uh, a long time ago," Edward replied. What, did he not remember when? Did he not want to tell them when? _At least he remembers you at all..._

"Huh, small world," Emmett said absently. "Get the girl a drink, man!" He said, forcing Edward's eyes off of me. He turned around and walked quickly back inside. I stood frozen in place before Rosalie ran out and took my hand, dragging me inside. I looked towards the kitchen in a rush, and saw auburn hair glowing in candle light. Honey eyes met my chocolate, and I saw his mouth move. I felt dizzy and confused.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed, before he was out of sight. I wanted to go home. I wanted this to be over. I wanted to never see or hear of him again, but there was nothing that I wanted more in that moment, than my Grace.

_You left with no word, leaving everything wrong_

_I grew on my own and without you, became strong_

_Don't do this to me now_

_I won't be brought down_

_I'll stray from your embrace_

_Keep me with some distant space_

_Don't tear down my walls_

_Yet I would catch you, should you fall_

_Don't dare take my heart, and rip it apart_

* * *

><p><strong>INTENSE! I hope you're loving it! I cannot believe that I was recommended on twinklings! Such an honour! I realize that that is how some of you came across my story. I'm so glad! ;)<strong>

**The first peom you saw was from The X-Files, and written by Gillian Anderson. I give all credit to her awesomeness.**

**The last poem however, is mine written specifically for this story.**

**Review please!**

**-S**


	5. Chapter 5

**BPOV**

**Chapter 4:**

My head was spinning, and I wanted to disappear. I sat on the edge of Rosalie's bed with my head between my knees, taking deep breaths. As soon as we were upstairs and away from everyone else, I told Rose and Alice not to speak until I was ready. My dizziness started to drift away, so I sat up slowly. I looked to Alice, and then to Rose, and saw nothing but worry in their eyes. I took one last deep inhale, before I decided to speak.

"What the hell is going on?" I said quietly, my voice cracking. Rose came and sat next to me putting her arm over my shoulder. I leaned into her comforted by her gesture.

"I didn't know anything about this until just before you showed up, babe. I swear," she said in remorse. I looked up to her and tried to smile, but all I wanted to do was cry. Instead, I nodded for her to continue.

"Emmett told me that Mark, Angela, and one of their friends would be coming to stay the weekend here..." I cut her off.

"He's staying the weekend?" I gasped out almost choking. "I can't be here, Rose. I'm sorry." I started to get up but she pulled me back down.

"Bella, please, listen to her," Alice said softly. I sat back down unwillingly, as Rosalie continued on more quickly.

"I didn't even recognize him until Emmett introduced him to me as Edward, and then I heard Angela ask him what France was like, and everything clicked. Apparently he is good friends with Mark and used to work at his bar... the bar that Emmett works weekends at which is how Emmett met him, and invited him here," she was out of breath. "I couldn't just tell Emmett to make him leave without explaining why, and you made me promise to never tell anyone," she said, looking down to her lap. I suddenly felt like the biggest bitch for thinking so wrongly of the situation. I reached for Rosalie's hand and squeezed it in mine.

"It's alright, Rose. It's not your fault," I said smiling.

"Please don't leave," she said pleadingly. "I haven't seen or spent time with you guys in so long!" She was right. I couldn't just leave. I couldn't just let him make me feel so un-glued.

"I'm not going to leave, babe," I replied. She looked up at me and smiled before hugging me tightly. Alice squealed and clapped her hands together.

"Well, are you going to be alright with this?" Rose asked hesitantly. I thought about it for a moment before answering her.

"Yes, I'll be fine. I won't allow him to affect me like this," I said strongly. I was a little unsure at my words, but I would try.

"What are you going to do?" Alice asked.

"About what?" I replied with raised eyebrows.

"About Ed...him," She said correcting herself mid-sentence.

"What about him, Alice?" I wasn't understanding what she was really trying to ask.

"I mean, aren't you... or shouldn't you..." she sighed loudly before continuing. "What about Grace? Aren't you going to tell him? _He wouldn't even care._

"No, I'm not. Why would I? After Sunday, I will never have to see him again," I said waving my hand in the air.

"You said that 4 years ago, Bella," Alice replied evenly.

"Alice, why does it matter? What the fuck am I supposed to say?" I was getting angry so I stood up. "'Hey, so when you left for another country I was here having our illegitimate, drunken one night stand, love child?' Are you kidding me, right now?" She stepped forward surprised.

"No, I just thought, I mean, you never know. Maybe he would like to know about her! You don't know anything about him, Bella!" Alice retorted.

"You're right, I don't. And you know why? He never cared enough to stick around to find out! He left a false number for God's sake!" I spit back.

"Think of Grace, Bella. What if she would one day like to know her father, and she finds out that you REFUSED to tell him about her given the chance!" I stood right in front of her furiously.

"You did not just say that, Al" I seethed out. "He left me! He has NO RIGHT to know her!" I yelled out.

"Be quiet!" Rose whispered out fiercely, coming to stand between us. Alice and I lowered our voices but continued our argument anyway.

"What if the tables were turned, huh?" Alice asked. I'd thought about that before, so I knew exactly how to answer her.

"If I was as heartless as he was, taking advantage of some girl and then leaving, I wouldn't feel that I had the right to know, either," I said firmly.

"Bella, You weren't that drunk, and neither was he. You know that as a fact."

"Regardless! He used me, Alice! And when he got what he wanted, he left!" Tears started to swell up in my eyes. "He left me, Alice. I have raised her on my own, with help from you guys when you could, but she is mine. I won't let him interfere with her life like that, when he could just turn around and leave again," I said quietly. Tears met my cheeks and I backed away from her. Alice let her shoulders fall as I started to see tears meet her cheeks as well. I put my head in my hands and felt her come over to me and wrap her arms around me.

"I'm sorry. I'm just afraid. I never thought I would be faced with this," I said truthfully.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry I got so angry. I just worry, you know?" she said into my shoulder. I nodded my head and we didn't part from our hug for a while, letting silent tears fall. I needed to pull myself together, and quick. I came here to have a good time, and I was going to, regardless of him. I pulled away from Alice and we giggled.

"Are you guys done now?" Rosalie said jokingly. We looked over to her and smiled. "Come on, let's have some fun! Bella, I want you to try your hardest to pretend that he isn't who he is, okay? Pretend that you have just met him! You don't even have to talk to him. Alice and I will make sure that he isn't alone with you, deal?" I nodded my head quickly.

"And hey," she said sweetly. "People can change Bella. You never really knew him, and you don't know who he is now. Maybe you two could turn out as friends," she said quickly. I shot her a look and smiled. _Fat chance._ I stood up and walked to the bathroom, desperately needing a Kleenex.

"I'll meet you girls downstairs," Rose called from the bedroom. Alice came over to me and started to pull my long hair out of it's braid as I wiped my eyes.

"You know what we're going to do?" she said with a smirk. I looked at her in the mirror and laughed.

"What's that?" I replied smirking back.

"We're going to make you so hot this entire weekend, that he will regret ever letting you go," she said brightly. I laughed at her. I could handle that. It might actually be kind of fun.

"Yes, let's," I said in an evil tone. I smiled at her again and felt my heart loosen from it's constriction. I would have fun with this.

**EPOV**

What the hell was I thinking in coming here? My thoughts were louder than the voices right next to me as I sat in a reclined wooden deck chair sipping on a beer. How did any of this happen? How couldn't I have thought more about it? Of course I would see her again, and to be honest, I wanted too. Except, not like this. I felt like we were thrown into a fire with no chance of an escape. Or chained to the bottom of the cold ocean slowly drowning. The look in her eyes completely terrified me. She had such hate towards me, and I couldn't blame her. I was so insensitive to her all those years ago. _You're such an idiot._ I was afraid! I made a mistake, and I would try to fix it. _If you could just let in your heart. _Even if she never wanted to see me again, I would find a way to apologize to her, and explain myself. I don't expect her to be my friend, or anything more. _You want that._ I wasn't allowed to want that. For all I know, she's happily married and has two kids! _I hope not._ Shit, I needed to stop thinking.

"Edward?" Mark said pulling me from my inner battle. "Are you alright, man?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I lied.

"I'm sorry. If I had known that she would be here, I would have told you," he said looking guilty.

"You didn't know. It's not your fault, and It's going to be fine. I was just caught off guard, that's all," I whispered calmly. _Yeah, go with that._ Before I could fight back in my head, Bella walked out onto the deck in a stunning thick white turtle neck sweater, and some skinny jeans. No shoes, just thick socks. _She's trying to kill me. _I forced my eyes off of her and down to the bottleneck beer in my hands. I tried to start reading the label, looking preoccupied, but failed miserably. Still having my head looking down, I pulled my eyes upward to see her pulling a chair over to rest of us, and sitting back into it with ease. She took a long sip of her wine, and put her head back on the chair. Her long wavy hair draped over her shoulders, and her chest rising with each breath.

"Edwardo!" Emmett said loudly, making me jump. "Hey, you know some french, right?" I nodded my head at him, and tried not to focus on Bella who was now looking at me. Rosalie and Alice had come out and joined the circle of chairs that we were now in.

"How do you say, 'I love you,'" he asked looking over to Rosalie.

"Je t'aime," I replied clearly. Emmett looked over to Rosalie and tried to mimmick me. Rosalie smiled and we all laughed at his attempt of a french accent.

"How do I say it back?" Rosalie asked.

"Je t'aime aussi," I said. She repeated my words and did a much better job, in turn making Emmett blush.

"That's so cool!" Emmett said. "Do you know any other languages?"

"Yeah, I know how to curse in German," I replied smiling.

"No way! How do you say, 'fuck?'" Rosalie reached over and smacked his arm. I laughed.

"Ficken."

"HA! Ficken!" Emmett said laughing hysterically.

"Why do you only know curse words?" Bella asked smirking. She spoke to me. Her voice was so soft, and sweet despite the small amount of venom in her tone.

"Well, when I was a kid, my mom always scolded my dad for cussing in front of me, so he started to do it in German. When I was a teenager, I started looking up what the words actually meant," I said sheepishly. Everyone began to laugh again and I felt like I could die happy hearing her laugh.

"How'd you learn french?" Alice asked in her high voice.

"I took it in college," I said smiling. She nodded her head and we all got quiet. It became awkward after a moment before Angela spoke up.

"Is there anything I can help you with with dinner, Rosalie?"

"Sure," she said looking down to her wrist watch. "It's actually about done, now." All four girls stood up and headed back inside. I felt strange not having Bella close to me, but I forced that feeling away quickly. I would just sit and go with the flow of this weekend.

Dinner came and went and I had to admit, for a lawyer who worked constantly, Rosalie sure can cook a good turkey. The dinner conversations really helped us all loosen up with each other. Mark and Emmett told stories about drunk people they have encountered at the bar. Bella took a call and went outside, and when she returned, she seemed more happy and lively. It made me wonder if it was her husband she was talking to, and that had my heart hurting. I didn't notice a ring, but that didn't always mean something. Alice's husband Jasper showed up after dinner, and we decided to play a board game called Apples to Apples. It was a strange game, but hilarious. Jasper and Bella tying in cards at the end, declaring themselves the champions. Bella sat next to me the entire game making it hard for me to focus. Even though she hadn't spoken to me since before dinner, I didn't really care. At least I was able to be next to her. I found myself wondering if she could ever care for me. Although, I held so much baggage, so many problems that I needed to deal with first. Her smell was intoxicating. It was hard to believe that we had had sex before, because everything about her felt so unfamiliar. I wanted to know the deepest part of her, and for her to want to tell me, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to tell her about me. _Don't get your hopes up._ Once the night started to dwindle down, the respective couples cuddled together on the couch, or went out onto the deck. I found myself sitting alone in front of the fire feeling pretty content in my thoughts. I noticed Bella go over to the couch to say goodnight to her friends. I was sad that she was going to sleep, and even more sad when she didn't say goodnight to me. This weekend was going to be a lot longer than I thought it would.

_Don't you want to stay here a little while?_

_Don't you want to hold each other tight?_

_Don't you want to fall asleep with me tonight?_

_Don't you want to stay here a little while..._

**BPOV**

The Saturday morning sunlight shined through the bedroom window forcing me awake. I closed my eyes tightly and rolled over. I wish it was Sunday already so that I could go home to Grace. At least I got to leave early Sunday morning so that I could go to church with Grace and my parents. I felt that my surroundings were confined, so I got up to take a shower. The bedside clock read 8:00, so I was sure that no one would be awake yet. I grabbed my fresh clothes and walked down the hallway opening the bathroom door quietly; not a sound in the house but me. That was, until I opened the bathroom door and saw Edward brushing his teeth in just his pajama bottoms, no shirt. _Crap._ He looked over to me and smiled even though his toothbrush was still in his mouth.

"Sorry!" I said frantically and closed the door in front of me. How embarrassing. I leaned up against the hall wall and waited for him to be finished. Not two minutes later, he stepped out cautiously. He looked so sweet, with sleep still in his eyes, and his bare chest practically gleaming at me. His chest hair was a bit darker than the hair on his head: a detail I never noticed before. I tried to smile at him, but I think it came off as more of a pissed off look, because he started to apologize.

"I'm really sorry. I should have locked the door," he whispered out. We were standing so close to each other that I could feel the heat coming from his body.

"No, it's fine. I should have knocked. I thought I was the only one up," I said shrugging.

"I've always been an early riser." _Yeah, I know._  
>"Yeah, me too," I said instead. I started to walk into the bathroom before he said my name. It sounded strange coming from his mouth.<p>

"Bella, do you want some coffee?" he asked sweetly, yet was still cautious. Was he afraid of me or something? _I hope not._

"Uh, sure, but I can get it," I said shaking my head.

"Well, I was going to make some anyway," he said looking down to the floor.

"Oh, okay," I said. How awkward. We stood in silence for a moment before I decided to just close the door as he walked away somewhat quickly. _What the hell?_ I shrugged it off and started for the shower, hoping it would refresh me.

**EPOV**

I don't think I can remember a time when my coffee had tasted so good. Rosalie bought the expensive shit, and I wasn't about to complain. I sat back out on the deck looking out into the early morning. It was still pretty dark outside even at 8:30, but I liked it. I could see the ocean, and hear the slow waves in the distance. I wish every morning could be like this. The fall leaves in perfect colors of orange, yellow, and red, with the pine trees full of life. I took in the smell of salt, fog, and pine. I heard the door open behind me, and knew immediately that it was Bella from her sent. I turned my head and almost spilled my coffee because of how beautiful she looked. She looked even prettier than she did thirty minutes ago in her early morning wake. She had braided her long hair, wore another pair of dark jeans, and a deep green sweater. She held a big mug of coffee in her hands, and looked startled to see me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were out here," she said softly. It was the second time she had apologized to me this morning, and I hated it. She had no reason to apologize.

"No, no, it's fine. I was just sitting out here breathing in the morning air." I said trying to reassure her.

"Would you like to be alone?" _Absolutely not._

"Nope, you're more than welcome to come out," I said, hoping she would. She nodded her head and walked over to the cedar railing of the deck, and leaned her arms over it, taking a sip of her hot coffee. She was quiet, and looked deep in thought.

"Good coffee, huh?" I said trying to start a conversation.  
>"Mhmm. Rose always buys the best," she said smiling at the thought of her friend.<p>

"How long do they usually sleep in?" I asked, nodding my head back towards the house. She let out a small laugh.

"Awhile. What about Mark and Angela?"

"Oh, Mark could sleep for days if he was able, and I think Angela could, too, now that she's pregnant."

"Yeah, I can imagine," she said slowly. "I'm really happy for them."

"Yeah, me too. They're going to be great parents," I replied confidently. She nodded her head again and we got quite. Her cell phone began to ring, making me jump and almost spill my coffee, again. She took it from her back pocket, and started to walk around the side of the deck.

"Hey, baby!" I heard her say excitedly. _Baby? Damn._ So much for that thought. I thought about it for a moment and decided to let it go. Everything happens for a reason, and if Bella was happy; well then I was happy for her. At least, I would try to be.

Hours later after everyone had slowly started to come alive, we were all out on the beach ready to start a Volley Ball game. It was cold out, but after moving and jumping around it became perfectly comfortable. Emmett and Bella were determined team captains, so naturally it became girls against boys. We planned on ruining them and did for the first half of the game, until the girls caught up to us. I of course was always placed in front of Bella staring at her across the net. She gave me the evil eye a few times, and I wasn't sure if it was because we were enemies in the sport or in real life. My stomach was sour throughout the entire game, especially when Bella would spike the ball straight for my face. Luckily I had either dodged, or hit it back over. Her glare was pretty terrifying when that happened. The game was tied when we decided to quit from shear exhaustion. I wasn't sure why she was being such a bitch, but it was driving me nuts. Anytime I would try and say something to her, just to comment on something being said by anyone, she acted like I had said nothing. I couldn't grasp it. After the game, she started to ask everyone what they wanted to drink, of course not even asking me. When she started her walk up to the house, I decided to go after to her and get some answers. She was up ahead of me, so when we were out of ear shot, I jogged up next to her breathing heavily.

"What's your problem?" I asked angrily.

"Excuse me?" she asked offended, but keeping her fast pace. She didn't look over to me, infuriating me even more.

"Why have you been treating me like shit?" She started to smile and then began to laugh loudly at me. "What's so funny?" I snapped. She continued laughing as we started up the front steps of the house. I ran in front of her and stood in front of the door, forcing her to stop.

"I've been treating _you_ like shit?" she retorted, the smile still on her face.

"Um, yeah? You're acting like I'm not even here. Anytime I speak to you, you completely ignore me."

"Why does it matter, Edward? Now, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me pass, and continue on with ignoring you," she said in the bitchiest of ways, trying to move around me, but I matched her moves.

"Because I have a right to know!" I yelled. She jolted back scared by my sudden outburst. I put my hand on the back of my neck and rubbed it soothingly. "Ugh, I'm sorry for yelling, but I don't understand why you're treating me like this." I said much quieter.

"Maybe because you're a selfish prick, and I thought I would treat you, how you treated me for a change," she said loudly. I glanced back to the beach seen in-between tree branches and noticed that no one had even noticed my absence, or our loud argument taking place.

"What?" I asked in shock.

"Oh, think back, it'll come to you." I started to think back to the past two days, coming up with nothing. She seemed to notice my frustration and blank expression. "Four years ago," she snapped. "Ring any bells now?" She was now furious with me, but I could also see hurt behind her anger. My shoulders eased as I remembered back to her graduation party.

"Look, I'm sorry to have left that way, alright? But I didn't have a choice," I said as she put up her hand and shook her head.

"I don't want an explanation," she said quietly.

"Too bad! I'm going to give you one anyway," I said back louder. How could she not want one? She rolled her eyes and stepped back putting her hand on her hip lazily. "I left because I had gotten a call for an internship that I needed for my career, and had to go!" I realized how lame and unimportant it sounded when the words left my mouth.

"Oh, so you leave a girl a fake number? What an asshole!" She said yelling. She ran her hands through her damp and tangled hair furiously.

"It wasn't fake!" I shouted. "My cell phone didn't work in another country, obviously! I even got a fucking Facebook to try and find you."

"That's ridiculous. You're so insensitive. I was a drunk eighteen year old girl who gave you my virginity, and woke up to some post-it-note? I didn't even know your last name! Hell, I still don't! I am so done with this conversation, Edward. Get out of my way." She tried to push me, but I held my ground. "What do you want from me?" she yelled.

"I want you to accept my apology! It was a lousy thing to do, and I regret it, okay? I thought about you a lot, and tried to find you! I can't go back and relive what happened, Bella. I wish I could, but I can't."

"Yeah, so do I. I would say that I wish it never happened, or that I never met you, but it made me who I am today and it gave..." she stopped abruptly and caught me off guard when I noticed tears start to fall down her face.

"Bella, please. I am so sorry for hurting you," I said quietly. I wanted desperately to reach out and touch her, but I was afraid. She put her head in her hands and continued to cry. _DO SOMETHING, YOU IDIOT!_ I let my instincts take over, and before I knew what I was really doing, my body started to leap for her. I took her wet face from her hands and held it in mine. I looked into her deep brown eyes for an instant, before I crashed her lips to mine. The contact was like an electric shock that surged throughout my entire body. When she didn't pull away, I started to kiss her more feverishly. Need took over want and her mouth opened, allowing me access to slip in my tongue. When I did, I thought I may pass out from the thrill of what was happening. It felt like a scene in a movie, and everything was in slow motion. He put her hands in my hair and pulled on it tightly. I let go of her face and put my arms around her body, pulling her closer to me. I felt her breathing pick up as our tongues moved together quickly. We heard laughing down on the beach and she pulled away instantly. I felt dazed, and looked at her curiously. She wiped her hand across her mouth, and looked towards our friends, who looked like they were playing chase. Angela and Mark had their feet in the water and Emmett had Rosalie on his shoulders.

Where's Alice and Jasper?

"Hey, guys!" Alice said brightly. Bella spun around quickly and almost fell over.

"Hi," Bella stammered out. Alice gave Bella a curious look and cocked her head to the side.

"Did we interrupt something?" she asked slowly.

"No, no, nothing at all. Edward was just helping me get everyone's drinks," Bella replied quickly. I nodded my head at Alice, but was unsure as to why Bella seemed so secretive. Jasper appeared completely oblivious and walked past us into the house.

"Hey, Edward? Will come help me with the hot water heater? Rose said the pilot light went out," Jasper called from inside.

"Yeah, sure," I said in a distant voice before turning to follow him inside. I wish I could have seen Bella's face, but her back was turned away from me. I wasn't sure about what had just happened between us, but I would spend the entire rest of the weekend trying to figure it out.

**BPOV**

I had been in a haze that continued on all afternoon. It started to storm a few hours before dinner unfortunately, putting our plans to have a bonfire on the beach tonight inevitable. It was actually still coming down pretty hard while I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher with Rosalie. I was thankful to be doing something. I had kept myself busy since my ferocious kiss with Edward, not willing to slow down. I helped make dinner, I set the table, and I even did a load of laundry. Edward had been with the guys for most of the late afternoon watching some soccer game and drinking beer, which made me feel more at ease. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on, or what to think.

"Bella, are you going to tell me what happened?" Rose asked raising her eyebrows and wiping down the counter.

"Nothing happened! Will you two just drop it?" I said annoyed.

"It didn't look like nothing," Alice said from behind me with her arms crossed.

"God, we were just talking, alright? What's the big deal? I thought you guys wanted us to be friends?"

"You looked flushed, and angry, Bella. It didn't seem like some cordial conversation," Alice retorted.

"It was nothing! I'm absolutely fine."

"Whatever, Bella," Rose said. Thankfully she dropped the topic and started talking about Thanksgiving plans. I finished with the dishes and decided to go out and call my Grace. I hadn;t spoken to her since this morning, so I was getting antsy to hear her voice. The night air was cold, but it felt nice against my hot cheeks. I went out onto the back porch, and dialed my mother's cell number.

"Hello?" My dad answered on the second ring.

"Hey, daddy. What's up?"

"Oh, not too much, Bells. Gracie and I are watching The Little Mermaid relaxing. How's your weekend so far?"

"Not too bad, actually. I'm enjoying myself," I said honestly.

"Good to hear. I hope you guys don't get washed away with all this rain," he said teasingly.

"Ha, It's really coming down hard."

"You guys keep safe, you hear?" my father warned.

"Yes, dad," I said laughing.

"Okay, Bells. Here's Gracie." I smiled knowing that I was about to hear her voice.

"Mommy?" Gracie said excitedly.

"Yeah, baby, it's me. How are you?"

"I'm great! I've had the best time ever with grandma and grandpa! We went played at the park and had a picnic, and when it started to rain, grandpa took me to this awesome museum!" she spoke so quickly running all her words together making me laugh.

"That's so neat, sweetheart. Did you learn anything new?"

"Mhm! Did you know that the Grand Canyon was made by the Colorado River over 17 million years ago?" she questioned seriously.

"No, I didn't know that!" I lied.

"Yeah, and it's up to 277 miles long, and in certain parts, up to 18 miles wide!"

"Wow!" I said excitedly. I didn't know that fact.

"Grandpa said he would take me there one day. Would you like to come, too, mommy?"

"Yes, baby. Of course, I would love too." I smiled widely and shivered at the cold wet air.

"Great!" she squealed. I looked down to my watch noticing that it was almost eight.

"Well, Gracie, I'd say it's almost time for bed, but I bet grandpa is letting you stay up later, huh?" I asked teasingly.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, well mommy is gonna go back inside with Alice and Rosalie, and you can get back to watching your movie, alright?" I hated having to say goodbye.

"Okay. I miss you," she said sweetly, while breaking my heart.

"I miss you, too my love. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Alright bye! I love you, Mama!"

"I love you more, Gracie. Bye," I said softly, and hung up the phone. It was crazy to think how someone so small could affect someone so deeply. I couldn't wait to get home, and was dreading having to deal with this Edward thing. I enjoyed the kiss, and I didn't like that. It felt so right, yet so wrong. I sighed and shivered again, forcing me to go inside. I made my way in and walked quickly over to the fire, noticing that everyone was around the television watching intently. I looked over to the screen and saw a News Man broadcasting outside in the pouring rain.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously.

"The road is flooding," Jasper said absently.

"What? What road?"

"The main highway a few miles from here. They're even saying that a bunch of local roads in this area are being washed out."

"Shit, seriously?" I said worriedly.

"Hey guys, let's drive down to the end of the driveway and hit the main road, to see what's going on," Emmett said, referring to the men in the house only. All four guys started to get up and get their coats from the closet.

"Wait a second, are you insane?" Rosalie snapped. "What if you get stuck, or washed away?"

"Babe, chill. We won't go near anything dangerous, and we'll stop driving as soon as we hit water that starts up the tires," he said calmly. "Edwardo, can we take your truck?" Edward looked over to me quickly, and I found myself wishing that he would stay. Wishing that all of them would.

"Yeah, sure thing," he said pulling his coat on. The respective couples gave one another a kiss, having Edward and I stand off to the side awkwardly.

"Um, be careful," I said quietly to him.

"We will," he whispered back smiling beautifully. It made me smile, and my stomach start to flip-flop. The boys headed out the door, running down to Edward's large navy blue Heavy Duty four door Ford, and started to drive away slowly.

"They're such boys," Angela said laughing.

"Yeah, like they're going to play in some big puddle or something," Rose joked. We all started to laugh at them and I went to grab us a bottle of wine, and some glasses. I poured each glass half full, and handed them out to my friends, before I walked back over to the fire. I didn't want to get stuck here for God knows how long. I needed to see Grace, and be at church tomorrow morning: not to mention work on Monday! I sat in front of the fire and decided to let it go. At least I knew Gracie was safe with my parents, and if I had to, I'd buy a fucking row boat and paddle my way home. I laughed at my own idiocy as I took a sip of my white wine. My mind pulled itself back to Edward and our kiss. His tongue so warm against mine. Something had come over me and I let go, giving into the passion that seemed to still be between us after all this time. How could I ignore that? How could I keep it from my best friends? I think I just wanted to relish in it alone for a while. A wide smile spread across my face. I hadn't had more than one day away from my hectic life of work and motherhood, and I remember my mom always saying that it was perfectly normal and healthy to take a break from it. When I was a kid, once a month I would spend the weekend with my grandmother while my parents took a trip to the beach or went camping. I guess I was making up the past four years of that right now, so I felt myself ease into the flow. If we got flooded in, so be it. I would make the best of it.

_Speak to me with closed lips_

_Use your touch instead of your words_

_Fill me up in your embrace_

_Let go and relish in space_

* * *

><p><strong>It's coming along, isn't it? I hope I am able to keep you on your toes!<strong>

**Song inspiration;**

**Don't you wanna stay-Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson**

**The poem at the end was written by me, specifically for this story.**

**Leave me your thoughts, and I'll reply ASAP!**

**-S**


	6. Chapter 6

**BPOV**

**Chapter 5:**

Thunder was booming loudly outside causing the girls and I jump. I love storms, but Angela wasn't as happy as the rest of us. She sat by herself on the couch on her phone while Rose, Al, and I started a game of Scrabble. The boys had been gone for an hour, and hadn't called us, yet. We weren't worried, but I couldn't blame my friends for wanting their husbands back. A small part of me was trying to admit that I wanted Edward back, too. I decided to take this opportunity to talk with my best friends and get some feedback. Maybe it would help me sort it out myself.

"Hey, I wanted to apologize to you both for being so secretive earlier," I said in a glum tone. Alice put the word, 'Engrave' together, putting her in the lead.

"It's no big deal, Bells. We were just curious," Al said waving her hand.

"Well, we got into an argument, actually." Rose and Alice whipped their heads up at this new piece of news.

"Really? What did you say?" Alice asked wide eyed.

"Yeah, did you let him have it?" Rose chimed in.

"Actually, yeah I did. I told him he was an insensitive asshole," I said giggling. The girls started to laugh and Alice clapped her hands.

"Good for you!" they said together. I smiled.

"I suppose so," I said shrugging. "We made up, though. I think."

"What?" they said together again and leaned in closer.

"Well he explained that he had to leave for France for an internship that left immediately, and that his phone number wasn't fake, it just obviously didn't work overseas. He said that he even got the Facebook account to try and look me up." I opted not to mention the kiss because I knew what would come along with it. Maybe it was an unnecessary kiss, but I couldn't explain it, and wasn't about to question it. It probably shouldn't have happened so fast, but that seemed to be the way that Edward and I worked.

"Well that's kind of sweet, actually," Alice said smiling.

"Yeah except that his profile picture was of some him and some french bombshell," Rosalie retorted. Shit, I had forgotten about that.

"Maybe it was a friend, Rose," Alice said.

"Yeah, okay," Rosalie replied sarcastically. I added that to the list of things that I wanted to ask Edward one day. "Just, whatever you do, take it super slow, alright? I mean, super super slow. I don't want that ass being an ass to you, again."

"Okay, Rose," I said feeling touched. I heard her phone vibrant on the floor next to her.

"Oh! Emmett just text me saying they're almost here," Rose said getting up and going for her coat.

"Hey, Angela, the boys are almost home," Alice said walking over to her and slightly shaking her awake. I remember what it was like being pregnant. You're tired all the fucking time. Angela got up quickly and rubbed her eyes. The three girls all went outside bundled up in their coats. I decided to follow along, unsure as to why. Sure enough, Edward's big truck pulled into the driveway and parked not a moment later. Four boys jumped out soaking wet, and ran towards us. We all rushed inside from the cold, and everyone was hugging. Edward had come in last, looking positively freezing. I wish I could hug him back to warmth. I turned away when his face turned toward mine, in case my eyes would give away my thoughts.

"Well, that did you guys find?" Angela said.

"The roads are completely washed out," Mark breathed out heavily.

"What? So, we're stranded here?" Rose said frantically.

"Looks like it, babe," Emmett said putting his arm around her.

"What the fuck? For how long? I have a case that needs to be processed, and court on Tuesday, Emmett!" Rose shouted.

"We don't know how long, Rose. It could be days. The roads are completely gone," Emmett said trying to calm her soothingly. "We can work from here. You brought your laptop, right?"

"Of course I did," Rose snapped. Alice and Jasper had left us probably going to get Jasper some dry clothes. Edward was peeling off his heavy wet jacket and raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"I can take that," I said quietly. "I'll put it, and the wet clothes you're wearing in the washer."

"Oh, I can do that," he said quickly.

"No, I don't mind. Go get warm," I said as nice as I could. He handed me the jacket carefully.

"Thanks, Bella." and turned to run up the stairs. I went to the laundry room and put the thick jacket into the washing machine while I waited for Edward to return with the rest of his clothes. His hair looked so adorable all over the place and wet. Though his appearance was extremely attractive to me, I found myself pulled to him in some unknown way as well. _Grace._ That's right, we shared a child. I shivered and reached for a bottle of laundry soap, forcing myself to read the label to make my mind obey me. Edward walked in in pajama bottoms, and a dark blue long sleeved shirt. He had these cozy looking Crocs on his feet. I forced back my giggle.

"Sorry I took so long," he said looking ashamed.

"It's no big deal. Here, you can throw them in here," I said opening the washer lid.

"Were you reading the directions on how to use laundry soap?" he said smiling. I automatically got nervous and my hears turned hot. "'Cause, if you were, I'm not sure I'd like you to do my laundry," he teased.

"Har, har. I promise that nothing will come out bright pink," I said snapping the lid shut after adding a cap full of detergent. I turned around to face him in the small room that we were in. _Awkward._

"So, are you totally furious about being stuck here like Rosalie is?" he asked breaking the silence.

"Uh, not so much. I mean, it kind of sucks, but I'm not mad about it." I smiled which made him smile back at me. "What about you? What about work?"

"Well I'm actually here to re-do the flood drains, so my work starts when the rain stops" he said. "Ironic, huh?"

"Oh, so you're the guy they hired for that. My mother will want to thank you profusely." I said joking.

"Really?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, every time it storms, our Vet office floods, forcing us to have to relocate all of the animals."

"Well then, I'd be happy to fix that for you," he said quietly.

"We'd appreciate it. Would you like a beer?"

"I'd love one." He followed me out of the laundry room and into the kitchen. I pulled out a Miller High Life and handed it to him, before I reached to refill my wine glass.

"Hey, the boys want to put in a scary movie. You guys down?" Alice said poking her head in around the corner.

"Does it have to be a scary one?" I asked whining.

"You're such a whimp. Come on, you can cuddle with me." Alice joked. Edward started to laugh quietly.

"What's so funny? I hate them!" I said defending myself.

"They're not real, Bella."

"Yeah, but they could be!" I shouted. He rolled his eyes and started for the living room, nodding his head for me to follow. I sighed and did.

Of course the movie chosen was called Cabin Fever. I hated it just by the name itself. I sat practically glued to Alice's side with Edward on my opposite side. Halfway through the movie he put his arm on the back of the couch, creating butterflies in my stomach. Emmett and Angela had fallen asleep not fifteen minutes into it, so Mark and Rosalie dragged them upstairs and went to bed. Jasper loved pointing out how ridiculous and fake the movie was, which helped me not get so wrapped up in it. Alice started to fall asleep on Jasper's chest because I felt our hand grasp loosen. I laid my head on her shoulder and started to drift away comfortably knowing that Edward was right next to me.

**EPOV**

Lousy music filled the living room as I looked down to a beautiful sleeping Bella next to me. She almost made it through the whole thing before her and Alice drifted off.

"Thank God that's over," Jasper said laughing quietly, trying to not wake his wife.

"Seriously. We'll never get those 90 minutes back," I joked.  
>"The girls almost made it," he said looking down to them. "Will you carry Bella up?" I wasn't sure how to answer. What if she woke up and freaked out? <em>Shit.<em>

"Sure," I said hesitantly. Jasper stood and scooped Alice up into his arms and started for the stairs. I looked down at Bella jostled from being off of Alice's shoulder and smiled. I reached for the remote to turn the TV off, and slid my arms underneath her legs and neck. I lifted slowly, glad she didn't wake up. I walked quietly up the stairs and into her bedroom. Once I pulled the covers back awkwardly, I laid her down softly and put her into a comfortable position. I pulled the covers up to her neck and forced myself not to kiss her forehead. She stirred slowly and twisted her head.

"Edward," she breathed. Was she sleeping? Should I answer? I waited to see if she would say it again, so I could know if she was awake, and answer her but she never did. Was she dreaming about me? My heart lifted and I started to quietly walk out of the room. I walked down to the couch where I'd be sleeping and felt like a 16 year old boy again. She was dreaming about me. I was filled with hope and hadn't felt so content about my surroundings in a long time. I'd never admit it out loud to anyone, but I was happy that we'd be stuck here for a few more days.

The morning came earlier than I thought as I groggily opened my eyes. I didn't see any sunlight coming through the curtains, and stopped breathing to listen. Still raining. _Thank God._ I continued on not breathing when I heard that someone was in the kitchen. I reached for my cell on the coffee table to see what the time was. 7:00? Damn, earlier than I thought, and I'd already had a missed call from my dad. I pulled my body upright and got off the couch walking slowly and crookedly to the kitchen. Bella's face seemed to light up when she saw me. She was sitting at the kitchen table reading and drinking her coffee.

"Still raining?" I asked as I walked over to get my own cup of coffee.

"Sure is. It appears to be slowing down some," she said quietly.

"Does this happen every year?" I sat down across from her.

"Yeah, but not usually this late in the season."

"Well, I guess I shouldn't complain because it's giving me work," I said smiling.

"Did you always want to be a Civil Engineer?" She asked.

"Um, yeah, actually. As a kid I was always building things and drawing out ways to fix certain stuff so when I found out you could do it for a living, I got pretty excited." She laughed softly. "What about you?"

"What about me what? Did I always want to be a civil engineer? No," she said laughing. I laughed back feeling embarrassed.

"No, I mean what do you do for a living?"

"I got my associates degree in Veterinary Technology. I hope to go back and get my bachelors when I have the time."

"That's really great. I can picture you being good with animals," I said smiling at her. She looked up and her eyes twinkled.

"Thanks. I've always loved them. I guess I was always around them, too, because my mother is a Veterinarian. I work at her office."

"I'm glad it's worked out like that. You seem happy," I said in a small voice.

"I am. Aren't you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I will be. I kind of lost myself over the last couple of years, so I am glad to be here and to start working on a new project."

"Well I hope you find yourself," she said sweetly.

"I hope so, too," I laughed. "How pathetic do I sound?"

"Not pathetic. Lost, but not pathetic."

"Thank you," I replied as I felt my face heat up. "And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I mean, I'm sorry if I need to be sorry about it. Ugh. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Wow I'm a mess. She giggled.

"It's fine Edward. If I remember correctly, I kissed you back," she said smiling. _Holy shit._

"True, but for the record, I kissed you first," I teased.

"Oh, we're keeping score are we?" she said faking shock.

"Sure are. That makes it, Edward:2 and Bella:0." I made a zero with my hand and smirked.  
>"How do you have 2?" she cried out playfully. I thought back to her words yesterday before I spoke. I was having fun with this.<p>

"Um, four years ago?" I said faking hurt.

"That doesn't count!"

"Of course it does!"

"Well I'm a sore loser who will get revenge, so I suggest that you watch your back," she said sternly. _Breathe._ I was about to freak out from excitement. Did she really just say that?

"To be honest, I welcome that revenge," I said hesitantly, looking for any sign her face may give that I've gone to far. She stood up and reached for her coffee mug silently. She didn't look pissed, so I tried to keep my worry in check. She refilled her cup with coffee and creamer and headed over to the back door of the house. She stopped and turned to look at me. She smiled, and winked at me before stepping outside. _What the fuck?_ Does that mean I follow her? I wish I could read her mind. I got up from the table and walked to the back porch coffee mug in hand. I peered out the window before I opened the door and saw that her back was to me, and she was leaning on the cedar porch railing. I took a deep breath and opened the door. She didn't turn around at my presence, just stared out into the forest. The rain made everything a lush color, and the smell was divine. I walked over and stood next to her quietly.

"Edward, do you think that everything happens for a reason?" her tone was soft and thoughtful.

"Absolutely," I said.

"That was a quick answer," she replied quirking one eyebrow up.

"I've always believed that. If something didn't happen for a reason, then why did it need to happen at all?"

"That's a smart way to look at it."

"Why do you ask?" she shrugged her shoulders and looked down to her coffee.

"Oh, I don't know. Just curious I suppose."

"Don't question it. Just let it be as is."

"Okay Mr. Philosophical." she teased. "Are you now going to tell me that you believe in love at first sight, too?"

"I do," I said quietly. _I do because of you._

"You're so full of it," she said laughing.

"It's true! I've seen it! Take my parents for instance: they met when they were twenty years old and got married 3 weeks after they met. They've been together for thirty years."

"That's really sweet," she said smiling.

"What about your parents?"

"They've been together almost as long as that, but I think they dated a hell of a lot longer than three weeks before they got married," she said jokingly nudging my shoulder. _Touch._

"Everyone is different," I said laughing.

"That's very true. Can I be honest with you?"

"Please do." Uh-oh. She was quiet for a moment before she spoke. I wonder what she had to say.

"Do you think we went to fast that night? I mean, do you regret it?" she asked quietly.

"I don't regret anything except leaving you like that. It was pretty shitty of me. And, no, I don't think it was too fast. I mean, for me it wasn't but I know that it was your first time, so I would have waited for that given the chance."

"Have you been with a lot of people like that? I mean, like one night stands?" Damn she was really wanting to know everything. I guess honesty is the best policy, so I would tell her.

"I can count on one hand, including you, how many people I have been with sexually. I have never been in a relationship with anyone, though."

"I can count on one finger how many people I've been with, and zero relationships," she said in a small voice. I suddenly felt emotional. This girl did weird things to me.

"Well, I'm not sure why exactly, but I haven't been with anyone since that night."

"That's really saying something coming from an overly hormonal guy," she laughed. "But, ditto. I just never have had the time or the energy for it all." _How strange that we're both the same._

"I'm sorry for taking it from you that night," I said ashamed.

"I wasn't that drunk. I gave it to you, Edward." _Seriously?_

"Why me?"

"I can't explain it," she said shaking her head.

"I know the feeling," I replied.

"I'm sure the alcohol played a small part, but there was something about you and the music, that I just..." She paused for what seemed like a life time.

"What?" I urged.

"I just let go, and did what I felt." I saw her take a sip of coffee and decided to do the same. Maybe it would suppress the burning feeling I felt in my throat.

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked.

"It would only be fair," she said smiling.

"I wish the circumstances could have been different."

"How so?"

"Well, not at a party, and I certainly would have gotten to know you better. I would have made it more special; memorable."

"Oh, trust me, it's memorable alright. But, thank you. That's sweet of you to say."

"So, what does all of this mean, exactly?" I hedged.

"Well, I would like to say that I'd like to get to know you better."

"I think I would like that, too."

"Let's just try taking it a tad bit slower, how 'bout that?"

"Agreed. No sex for a while." I stated in a silly tone. She started to laugh and nudged my shoulder with hers again.

"It's a deal. Oh, and let's not tell anyone about it. Is that okay?"

"Nah, I'd prefer it that way, to be honest. I mean for a while at least."

"Great."

I looked down to her hand on the railing and smiled. I slowly reached my hand over and covered hers with mine gently. She looked down to our hands, and smiled widely.

"Perfect fit," I said softly.

"I've thought that for four years," she said quietly. She turned her body towards mine, entwining our hands together. She looked up to me, as I looked down to her and leaned up to kiss me on the mouth. It was soft, warm and so sweet. She pulled away with a gaze far off which I'm sure matched my own. We saw a light from inside the house turn on, so we pulled apart slowly, and grabbed our coffee cups.

"Come on," I said brightly opening the door for her. "Teach me how to kick ass in Apples to Apples."

"That may take a while," she said jokingly sighing hugely.

"I have a while."

"Good, because so do I."

_I can't remember life without you, the way it used to be_

_It feels like a million years away_

_If you ever leave me, will you take me with you?_

_If you're ever lonely, I want to be lonely, too_

_My home is beside you, no matter where you may go_

_My love is inside you, even more than you know _

**BPOV**

Monday was upon us and I think everyone was getting a little ansty to get out of here. The news said that the roads should be cleared up by late tomorrow afternoon, giving that it doesn't rain again, which it shouldn't. At least, that's what the meteorologist says. I was anxious to get home myself, because I was dying to see Grace. I was a little afraid to leave, too, because of Edward. We'd gotten so comfortable with each other since we've been here, that I wasn't sure how the real world would effect us. Granted that there wasn't much of us to affect, because we're going at a slow pace. After our talk yesterday morning, we let go and had a lot of fun together. The only touch between us after our hand holding was maybe an arm graze or a look one would give to the other. I really didn't want my friends to know that I was interested in him until I knew that it was something to me mentioned. I wasn't sure where this was going, and I didn't care. It was kind of a rush to hide it from everyone. Edward's attitude did a complete turn around this morning after he'd been on the phone for over an hour. He seemed distant and closed off. It worried me a bit. I hoped that when everyone went down to the beach, I'd get a minute to talk to him alone. Thankfully, that moment was upon me.

"Hey, is everything alright?" I asked walking slowly next to him. I looked down ahead of us to see our friends jogging and laughing.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"You're lying."

"I'm just thinking a lot, that's all."

"Who were you on the phone with earlier this morning?"

"My dad," he sighed loudly.

"You can tell me," I hedged softly. He stopped walking and looked around him. "Want to walk down the beach? Preferably in the opposite direction of everyone else?"

"Sure." We turned our stride slightly to the right and continued walking slowly.

"Okay, well my parents are retired now, and they've been traveling the world for about six months so far. They've been in Japan now for a few weeks, and apparently it's like the best place in the world. At least, that's what they tell me. Anyway, evidently they came across a homeless kid, and took her in." He stopped speaking abruptly. I looked over to him and couldn't read his face. It was a new expression to me.

"And?"

"And they said that they are going to adopt her," he said distantly.

"Well, isn't that a good thing? How old is she?"

"She's 10. I guess it's a good thing it's just that I don't know if my parents realize what they're doing."

"How so? I mean, they raised you fine, didn't they?"

"I suppose, but the girl is only ten. My parents aren't to far away from senior citizenship." I couldn't place why this was such an issue to him.

"Edward, older people take care of kids all the time. I think they know what they're doing. They seem like pretty intelligent people from what you've told me." He stopped walking and looked over to me smiling.  
>"You know what? You're right. And at least they'll be moving here in a few months."<p>

"Really? That's great!" I said excitedly.

"Yeah it is. I can't wait to meet her."

"Edward, do you ever want kids?" I asked slowly. Whoa. Where the hell did that come from? I found myself dreading the answer. He paused for a moment and looked out towards the ocean.

"Um, I think it's," was all he could get out before he was hit in the back of the head by a football.

"Edwardo! Get your ass over here and play!" Mark called from down the beach. I found myself secretly thanking Mark for saving me from an awkward situation. I wasn't ready to hear Edward's answer to that, yet. Edward looked over to me and smiled.

"Duty calls," he said laughing.

"Go, have fun!" I said shoving him playfully. My question would wait until I was mentally ready to hear what he had to say about it. I sighed absently as I watched him run up and down the beach throwing the ball to our friends. I pulled my cell out and decided to call my baby.

It turned out that the some of the roads had cleared up, allowing people access to grocery stores, and part of downtown Port Angeles. Rose was furious that of course the roads needed to get home on, were still closed. At least by tomorrow, they'd all be reopened. With all eight of us beginning to get our own type of 'Cabin Fever' we'd decided to take a trip to one of the dance clubs downtown. I was pretty excited about it to say the least. I couldn't remember the last time I had danced, or gone out with my friends like old times. The club was packed with people just as happy to be out of their house as we were. Alice dressed me in one of her black cocktail dresses. It had gold sparkles all over it, and swayed when I twisted my hips. My hair fell to the middle of my back, and the heels on my feet were going to be the death of me. It was strange that all of this was happening because it hadn't happened since my graduation night. I couldn't wait to see how the night turned out. Edward was hard for me to even look at because of how handsome he looked. He wore dark jeans and a blue and white plaid button up. I wanted to do what I did then: let myself feel what was around me, and give into what my heart truly wanted. Whatever that may be, I wasn't sure, and I didn't care. Edward bought me an Apple Martini, and sat across me in the small booth.

"Thanks," I said loudly, trying to block out the music. I drank the whole thing in one gulp, welcoming the burn it brought to my throat. It would be one of only two drinks that I would have tonight, that I was sure of.

"No problem." He looked over to the dancing crowd and smiled softly. _Memories._ Our friends were getting hot and heavy on the dance floor, so I felt awkward just sitting here with Edward.

"Hey," he yelled. I turned my head to him quickly.

"Let's dance." My heart filled at his words, and when the next song came on, as the lyrics filled the dimly lit club, we looked over to one another and smiled like never before. He held out his hand and I took it in mine without a second thought._ He's it._

_There ain't no reason you and me should be alone tonight_

_Yeah baby_

_And I got a reason that you're who should take me home tonight_

_I need a man that thinks it's right when it's so wrong tonight_

_Yeah baby_

_Right on the limits where we know we both belong tonight_

**EPOV**

Bella was dancing against me and our bodies were moving together like never before. It was a new found way of moving. I put my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me. Her arms around my neck, I'd never felt more safe.

_It's hard to feel the rush, to brush the dangerous_

_I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you_

_Where we can both fall more in love _

Everyone around us started jumping in the air to the beat of the music. All was lost around each and every person here tonight. I glanced over to our friends, dancing close together and smiling. Some people kissing with their mouth, some people kissing with their minds. I looked down to Bella and she smiled at me. I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces and scatter throughout my body. Her dress so thin against my unfortunately clothed body. She put one of her hands in the air, the other still tightly grasping my shoulder. She let her head fall back, her hair flowing through the thick air beautifully. I found myself on the edge holding her from falling, falling away from me. I pulled her back up quickly and our faces collided.

_Another shot before we kiss the other side tonight_

_Yeah baby_

_I'm on the edge of something final we call life tonight_

_Alright_

_Put on your shades 'cause I'll be dancing in the flames tonight_

_Yeah baby_

Would this be moving to fast? I held her as tight as I could without breaking her. She put her hands on my face and held it in place. My breathing sped up, as I breathed her in, desperate for more. It was as if we had gone insane; fallen off the edge, yet never spent time apart. I knew in that moment that nothing else, and no one else, could ever be compared to her. Love wasn't even the appropriate word. Maybe if I had loved her less, I'd be able to speak it more. I was lost in space with her. I brought my hands to her face, and pulled it from mine so that I could see her eyes. I stared into them for a long time, her never breaking away.

"Bella," I said into her ear. "You're it for me." I spoke with such confidence. I wanted to start from now, and never look back. I would marry this woman, and love her until the end of time. Nothing she could ever do would break me away from her grasp. She smiled the biggest smile, and no words were needed. She pulled my face back to hers with such fever, I felt it may start a fire. I had found my heart, right where I left it.

_I'm on the edge of glory and I'm hanging on a moment of truth_

_I'm on the edge of glory and I'm hanging on a moment with you_

_I'm on the edge with you_

* * *

><p><strong>Well? I love writing fast paced dancing scenes. My mind goes all over the place. It's pretty fun, so I hope you enjoy it!<strong>

**Song inspirations;**

**If You Ever Leave Me-Barbra Streisand and Vince Gill**

**Edge of Glory-Lady Gaga (Also my iPhone ringtone. LOL. It suited the mood, right?)**

**Anyway, updating soon! Leave me some love!**

**-S**


	7. Chapter 7

**BPOV**

**Chapter 6:**

_4 weeks later..._

I don't think I have ever felt time pass more slowly. It was like staring out the window waiting for the sun to rise, and it never coming. It had been a month since I saw Edward. Four whole weeks had passed. I felt like we were destined to one see each other in small increments. We only had one-barely extended-weekend with each other, a total of five days spent together in almost five years. It was infuriating, but neither of us had the time to get away. I had been overwhelmed at the clinic, and then with Grace while Edward was thrown into a mess of work cleaning up all the flooding. Luckily, we did talk on the phone every night, and every so often sent text messages to one another. They were always short and sweet, and when we talked on the phone, we were usually on for hours at a time. He asked me just about everything from my favorite food, color, animal, smell, etc. I felt like he knew me better than anyone, and I couldn't wait to see him, tonight. We were going back to Rosalie's cabin for the weekend, and it was going to be perfect. Rose didn't even ask questions when I asked if I could use it. I knew deep down that her and Alice both knew what was going on, so I was thankful that it didn't have to be said. They even talked me into buying some new jeans, which I did. Thanksgiving had just passes, so I felt like I gained ten pounds, even though my pant size didn't change. I went ahead and did the worst thing I could do, and bought a new bra with matching underwear. Worst thing because Alice always said that when you do that, you go into the situation expecting things. Of course I didn't expect' that we'd have sex, but our last night together would have easily led up to it, given that we weren't in a house with a bunch of other people who we'd have to explain it to. I was ready, but I wasn't sure if he was. Plus, I'd been on birth control since Grace was born, so we didn't have to worry about that. _This _time. Although, I wasn't going to go any further in that department, until I told him about Grace. It was the right thing to do, and I had to know. I have to know before I get even more attached to him. _If that's even possible._

"Hey, Mama?" Gracie said from behind me startling me.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I bring my Hello Kitty coloring book to grandma's?"

"Only on one condition," I said. She tilted her head to the side in the cutest of ways. "You have to color me a new picture for my deck at the office." She smiled widely.

"Okay!" I was glad to see her smile, because she had been in a strange mood since I picked her up from Alice's after work. Quiet, and distant.

"Hey, Gracie," I hedged. She looked up to me with her big brown eyes. "Is everything alright? Did something happen at preschool today?"

"Today was parent apprecia..." she stopped.

"Appreciation?" I finished.

"Yeah, that word. Anyway, all the kids were talking about there mommy and daddy's, and my friend Krystal asked where my daddy was." _Oh, no._

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that I didn't know. Do you know where he is mommy?" Her eyes were full of wonder masked by hurt. My poor baby. I had to make this right, and soon.  
>"I'm going to find him, sweetheart, and you will meet him soon. I promise." Could I promise that? <em>God, I hope so.<em>

"Do you think he will like me?" she asked in a small voice. I knelt down in front of her so that we were at perfect eye level.

"He's going to absolutely adore you. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're beautiful, and smart, and sweet." I've never been more serious about anything in my life. She is perfect. For a 4 year old, I had to be gentle, and explain things in the most optimistic ways as I could. She didn't deserve to be hurt, or sad.

"Thank you, Mama. Do you think he looks like me?" I giggled.

"You're much prettier, but yes, he will look like you."

"I can't wait to meet him!" She squealed. "Maybe he can come to my birthday party!"

"Grace Lynn, your birthday is still 3 months away, silly. You're already thinking of that?" I laughed and stood up, walking back over to her dresser.

"Yes. I want a Hello Kitty party," she said proudly.  
>"Okay," I said still laughing. She's so adorable that it hurts.<p>

"When will you be back, Mommy?"

"On Sunday evening."

"That's..." she counted on her fingers. "Two days from now!"

"That's right! Good job, baby."

"Grandma is going to take me to the pastry shop, and we're going to help uncle Billy bake and decorate a cake!"

"That's going to be fun! Will you save me a piece?"

"Of course," she said nodding her head. "It's going to be a Hello Kitty cake!"

"Oh, Gracie." I said as I walked over to her and threw her over my shoulders and tossed her onto the bed. She started to laugh loudly as I tickled her.

"I'm gonna get you!" I said loudly, moving my fingers towards her as she tried to get away. I pinned her down and tickled her until she was breathless, then stopped.

"Do you know how much I love you?" I asked.

"This much!" she said as she stretched her arms as wide as they could go.

"More than that!" I yelled.

"As big as the whole world?" She said amazed.

"As big as the whole universe which is bigger than anything ever," I said in a silly voice.

"Okay, that's a lot, Mommy. I love you that much, too!"

"Good, baby." I kissed her lips and pulled her up off of the bed with me.

As I pulled into my parents' driveway to drop Grace off, it started to flurry. I got Grace and her things out of the car quickly to get her back inside to the warmth. As soon as I stepped foot into the house, Grace ran for my mom. I was very thankful that my parents had such a wonderful relationship with her, though I found it hard to believe that anyone could not love Grace to death. She brightened everyone's day.

"Hey, Mom," I said smiling.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"All her things are in here, including the medicine for her excema." Grace has had excema since she was a baby, nothing severe, just annoying. She got it from me unfortunately. Us pale people always have the most sensitive skin.

"Okay, great. The tube I had ran out last week."

"Grandma, can I go find grandpa?" Gracie asked pleading.

"Say goodbye to your mother first." Gracie turned towards me and ran to leap up into my arms. She squeezed my neck as tight as she could. She knew I was going up to Rosalie's cabin, but she obviously didn't know who I would be going with. Neither did my mother, actually. I was definitely not going to mention anything about Edward until I had told him about our daughter. My parents would be the first to hate him automatically, without even wanting to hear the details. I couldn't exactly blame them, because deep down, they just want what's best for their grandchild, so I knew I would have to execute this properly.

"I love you, mommy." Gracie said into my neck.

"I love you more, baby. Have fun this weekend, okay? And call me all the time." I set her down on the ground, and kissed her mouth.

"I will. I promise. Can I go find grandpa now?"

"Sure," I said laughing. "Go check the den."

"Yay! Grandpa!" She yelled, and was out of sight.

"Thanks for watching her, mom."

"You know we love her being here," she said sweetly. "Have fun this weekend. I'm glad you're getting out again. It seemed to help you."

"How so?" She had me curious. She shrugged her shoulders slightly.

"Oh, it just seemed to make you a little happier. More at ease."

"Huh. Well, I had fun, and I plan to this weekend as well."

"I'm glad. Tell Rosalie and Emmett that we say, hello."

"I will. Thanks mom. I'll call you." I kissed her cheek, and turned to leave. I left the house letting my excitement take over me as I practically sprinted towards my car. I jumped in and started the engine, before pulling out my cell phone to text Edward. I honestly couldn't wait to see him.

_Be sure to remember your ways and stay true_

_Fortunately you seem to know me through and through_

_Let the snow fall softly, and the holiday's reign in_

_Breathe in my scent, and speak to me again_

**EPOV**

Driving down the highway with the window cracked and my cigarette lit, I turned the radio down when I heard my cell phone beep.

_Leaving now! I'll see you soon... -B_

A huge smile met my face as I text her back.

_I can't wait. I'll be there in 45. -E_

This weekend was going to be even better than the one weeks before, because we were both so anxious to see one another. The past four weeks couldn't have gone any slower, and I had something special planned for this weekend. I took a hit of my menthol cigarette, and blew all the smoke out the window. Now, I seemed to only smoke when I was really stressed, anxious, or really excited. I think right now, I was all three. To me, I felt like I knew everything about the girl who held my heart. I started to run through everything she had told me, just to make sure it was fresh in my mind. All her favorites coursed through me. Favorite color and stone; Peridot. Animal was a cat and horse. Food was Italian and anything to do with steak. Music was anything and everything. I think I was going to meet all her favorites this weekend, except for the animal thing. I laughed at myself. _You're insane._ Probably.

I made it to Rosalie's cabin quicker than I thought, but I wasn't complaining. I wanted to set up a few things before Bella arrived. I hopped out of my truck and grabbed all the bags I had brought with me. I walked up the stairs and around to the back as Bella told me to do. Snow had already gathered in a nice thin layer on the wood of the deck, making it a bit slippery. I reached above the door frame and found the cabin key. I unlocked the door, and headed inside. It was as dark inside as it was out, and it was only 7 o'clock. I reached for the kitchen light, and switched it on. Illumination! I threw all the bags onto the counter, and started getting out the Apple Cinnamon candles I had purchased. The aroma was mouthwatering. I filled the living room and kitchen with candles, and put one on the head of the staircase. I went over to the fire place, and started loading it with small sticks, and one big log before striking a match. Flames blew up high before dwindling down, creating a nice crackling sound. I made it back to the kitchen, and started the oven set to broil. I whipped out the steaks I brought and all it's delicious ingredients. Thankfully, the cellar was still full of wine, so I grabbed the oldest bottle I could find, and popped it open. I filled two glasses and set them on the counter, going back to finish dinner up. I sighed and glanced out the window when I saw headlights appear. My heart sped up instantly, and my hands felt clammy. My hand instinctively went to the back of my neck and rubbed it soothingly. _Breathe._ I walked to the front door and unlocked it before stepping outside. The night air made the hair on my arms stand up without my jacket on. Bella started to acsend the stairs before me, and when out eyes met, I noticed the huge smile on her face. I looked her up and down, as I smiled myself. She wore comfy looking jeans, a tick maroon colored sweater covered partially by her winter jacket, no make-up, and her hair was left loose down her back.

"You look absolutely stunning," I said proudly.

"Oh, please! I was in such a rush to get here, that after getting dressed some-what decent, I said, 'fuck it' to the rest," she scoffed. I reached down and took the duffel from her hand, and kissed her cheek respectively.

"You're perfect."

"Edward, I don;t even have make-up on."

"And?" I said wide eyed. "I like you without it."

"Good to know," she said sweetly, as she winked at me. She went inside and I followed her like the lost puppy that I was.

"Edward! This is so beautiful! I don't know what to say!" She walked around the house slowly, the smile never leaving her face. Pride welled up in my chest, and I knew I could relax now, because she like it all.

"I'm glad you like it. It's not too cheesy, right?" My insecurity getting the best of me.

"It's wonderful. I love it. And what's that amazing smell?"

"Steak, potato's, and broccoli. Oh, and some aged delicious white wine."

"Oh, God. Just what I need!" She sighed and walked over to stand in front of me. I felt her breath on my face. She slowly reached her arms up to put around my neck, and pulled me down. "Thank you," she breathed.

"You're welcome. Thank you."

"For what?" she asked, still in our hug.

"For being perfect."

"Oh, you sweet talker!" She said pushing me away playfully.

"It's true!" I argued grabbing her arm and pulling her back towards me.

"Kiss me," she said, puckering her lips up towards me. I laughed and did as told happily. The intended pop-kiss turned to a deeper kiss quickly. I hugged her tighter when she put her hands to my hair.

"Bella," I tried to say between out mouths. She took her mouth off of mine and went to my neck. "I don't want to burn dinner."

"Oh!" She pulled away looking embarrassed.

Come on, you can help." I grabbed her hand and she took it freely, following me into the kitchen.

**BPOV**

A few hours, and glasses of wine later; I found myself in Edward's arms watching the fire crackle and burn in front of us. I was leaned against his chest comfortably, our breathing at the same pace. Tonight couldn't be more perfect. My belly was full of delicious food, and my nose was surrounded by the best scent in the world. Edward, and Apple Cinnamon. The best combination, If you ask me. It was so nice to be free here with him, just the two of us.

"Bella, do you think after our first night together, that you;d ever see me again?" His voice was quiet and thoughtful.

"To be honest, probably not. I mean, I'm not saying that I didn't want to, but I didn't see how I would ever get to." That wasn't entirely true. I'd spent years hating him, and it shocked me that it barely took 48 hours for me to fall for him._ Again._

"Same here. Oh, by the way, my parents will be here next week with Ming."

"That's great! I bet they're dying to see you!" This was fabulous news. Edward's parents would be living here, and his new sister would be, too.

"Yeah, I can't wait for you to meet them." _Wait, what?_

"You want me to meet them?" I asked turning my head up to look at his.

"Of course I do!" he said as he started to tickle me slightly. I laughed and my heart swelled with an overwhelming feeling that I couldn't quite place.

"Well then I can't wait to meet them."

"Bella, you mean a lot to me. I hope you know that." I looked away from his face feeling particularly open and raw at the moment.

"You mean a lot to me, too." I answered honestly. He reached down and turned my face up towards his.

"I'm not sure if this is going to fast for you, so let me know." I could smell his intoxicating breath and felt almost dizzy from it.

"No, this is perfect. I'm ready for this. I mean, I want this. I want you, Edward." _Aren't you forgetting something? _"There's something I need to tell you, though," I wasn't able to finish my sentence before he pulled my mouth up to his in the most desperate of ways. I gave in to his need, needing it as badly myself. My mind shut off completely, leaving only my body against his. I realized how close he was to me and how warm his body was. His tongue was the perfect taste, and his hands were the perfect fit to me, no matter where they touched. I let go, and went with why everything happens for a reason.

**BPOV**

I twisted Bella around to face me, before slowly lying her down onto the white plush carpet. The fire next to us was the perfect background noise as she started to raise my shirt up. I pulled away from her kiss, and lifted my arms up giving her allowance to take it off. I sat back on my knee's and pulled her up. Our eyes locked and unmoving, I reached for the bottom of her sweater and started to slowly lift. Her arms went into the air, and her I peeled the sweater up over her head. Her hair draped below her breasts, now only invisible to the black bra that covered them. She reached for the button of my jeans, and undid it slowly. My mind was gone, but my body was on fire. Much like the one burning next to us. It made everything glow in a whispering orange light. I pulled my pants, and boxers off revealing my naked body. I'd never been insecure about my self until I sat here in comparison to her. She looked me over and smiled deeply. It wasn't a lustful smile, but one filled with love and passion. She reached around her back, and unclasped her bra, sliding it off of her small frame. Her breasts were small, but perfect. Pink nipples bright against her off white skin color. I looked at her in amazement, and she started to pull her own pants, and underwear off. We stood there on our knees facing each other. Her look of wonder matched my own, as I lifted my hand slowly, and cupped her breast. A perfectly small handful. I looked to her eyes and gave a look to make sure this was alright. She smiled and put her hand over mine. She reached her other hand down and felt the hardest part of me. It wasn't in so much of a sexualy way, but more of an intimate way. We were studying each other, learning everything about the other. It felt more erotic than any sex could compare to. I pulled my hand away from her breast and moved her hair from her chest, onto her back. I leaned down and began to kiss her neck. She leaned into my touch started to lean back, until we both lay on the floor. I hovered over her protectively and moved my kissed to her mouth. She took my tongue in hers and moved it with such perfection, you would think she took a class on it. She parted her legs slowly for me to position myself properly. I did so, and before we went any further, I pulled away and looked as far into her eyes as I could.

"I want you to know that you have my heart," I whispered. She smiled sweetly taking my breath away.

"As you have mine," she whispered back. I plunged my face back to hers at her response, and she took me in gladly. The feeling was beyond explaining. She wasn't as tight as I remembered, but I wasn't about to complain. To be honest, it kind of hurt. I was amazed at how much I had forgotten about all of this. We were a perfect fit, like a key to a lock. I moved slowly in and out as she gasped quietly, turning me on even more. She pulled my mouth back to hers with force. I kissed her with everything I owned, and would ever gain. She put her legs up around my back tightly, pulling me in further. I knew my climax wouldn't take long to come at all, but I wanted to take care of her first. Our moving quickened matching our breathing. Speed met with roughness. She pulled her face up to bury into my neck as her gasps grew louder.

"Stay there, but harder," she whispered roughly. Finally some direction. I wanted nothing but to please her. I did as she asked and the feeling couldn't be more amazing. She twisted her hips forcing a groan out of me.

"I'm going to come," she breathed quietly. "Can you with me?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely," I said smiling. She laughed cutely, as we kept moving at the perfect pace. Then, it was as if I were standing at the gates to heaven. The blissful feeling was overwhelming as we both cried out in pleasure, before easing back down to the floor softly. Nothing but the dim fire and out fast breathing filled the room.

"Oh, my God." Was all I could say at that moment.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Wow." I felt like everything that just happened went beyond love. Like making love wasn't strong enough a word. I felt her soul against mine in it's entirety. I never wanted to leave this spot. I never wanted to do anything but this, for the rest of my life. We continued to hold each other before I felt her shiver. I got up awkwardly, and went to the couch to get a fleece blanket and pillow. I walked back over to her, and sat down, putting the blanket over us gently. She positioned the pillow under both our heads, and laid back.

"I'm sleepy," she said cutely.

"So let's sleep, my love." I replied. She put her head on my chest and I rubbed her back soothingly. This had been the best night of my life, and I wanted in to continue on forever.

**BPOV**

I started to come out of a dreamless sleep. I started to slowly open my eyes, when I realized where I was. Edward's arms draped over my body, and I could hear his steady breathing; in and out. I slowly turned my body to face him trying not to wake his sleeping self. His face was beautiful and peaceful. I continued to stare at him for a long time before I heard my phone vibrate. I got up quickly, but quietly, and went over to my jeans on the floor. My body shivered slightly from being out of our warm blankets. I peeled my cell out of the back pocket, and saw that it was my mother's cell number. Grace. I threw my sweater over my head, and then pulled my jeans on, and went to the kitchen. Thank God for automatic timer set coffee. I poured a cup and added some creamer before slipping on my comfy fuzz shoes. I stepped out the back door, noticing the snow, and dialed my mom's number.

"Mama!" Gracie yelled.

"Good morning baby," I said sleepily.

"It's not morning, silly! It's afternoon!" I peeled the phone from my face to look at the time. 12:00? _No way._

"Oh, I guess you're right! How are you?"

"I'm great. Grandma and me are about to leave for uncle Billy's. What kind of cake do you like?"

"Um, white cake."

"Okay, that's the good kind. I can't wait for you to eat it!" Her enthusiasm never failed to put a smile on my face.

""I can't either Gracie. Tomorrow better come soon, because I'm dying for a piece of cake," I said laughing. She giggled sweetly.

"Can I call you tonight and tell you what it looks like?"

"You better!" I teased. "How's your itching?"

"It's better. Grandma put my cream on real good."

"Okay, sweetheart." I heard my mother's voice in the background.  
>"Oh! Okay, mommy, I have to go! We're leaving, but I love you!"<p>

"Have fun! I love you more, Grace," I said trying not to sound sad. I hated getting off the phone with her. We hung up and I sat in silence drinking my coffee for a while. I stretched my sore legs when my phone started to vibrate again.

"Hey, Al."

"Bella! How's it going? I want all the dirty details," she gushed.

"You're such a teenager," I said jokingly.

"Come on, spill!"

"We had sex." I yanked the phone away from my ear waiting for her screaming to begin. Once it did, I rolled my eyes. "Are you done, now?"

"Yes, sorry. So, how was it?"

"It was...phenomenal. I mean, the connection was...I can't explain it." I felt so weird talking about this outloud.

"I get it, trust me. Well, did you tell him?"

"No," I sighed annoyed.

"Bella."

"I know, I know! I was going to last night, but then he kissed me, and that led to..you know. Anyway, I'm going to tell him today. I have too."

"Okay, promise?"

"Yes, I promise." _I have to._

"Good. Call me if it goes badly, and I'll be there in a moments notice, you hear?"

"Thanks, Alice. Love you," I said feeling relieved.

"Love you, too." We hung up, and I decided to go in and wake Edward up.

Don't be afraid of truth

Speak with confidence and Grace

If all goes awry, keep your head held high

**EPOV:**

The beach was a lot colder than I had anticipated, unfortunately, making my plans a little bit disheveled. At least snow didn't really stick to sand, and I had brought us a blanket. Bella and I had brought a picnic, and spent all afternoon out here together. I was waiting for the sun to set, to give her the ring I had bought her. It wasn't an engagement ring or anything, but more of a recognition of feelings. It was of Irish decent, and I got her favorite colored stone put in the middle of it. Bella and I always have moved at an unusual pace, and we seemed comfortable with that. We didn't speak much of last night, but there wasn't much to be said. I hope she felt the same way I did about it. _Perfection._ She'd actually been kind of quiet all day, and it got me worried. Was she second guessing us? Did she regret last night? I stayed kind of quiet myself, unsure as to how I should approach her. Women were weird. Some loved to talk, and will get pissed at you if you don't always ask what the fuck is wrong with them, while others are like clams. They keep everything bottled up inside. This was something about Bella that I didn't know yet, so I was at my wits end.

"Edward," she said quietly. She was sitting indian style on the blanket looking out at the moving ocean.

"Yeah?"

"I have to tell you something, but before I do, I need you to know that I care about you a lot." _Fuck, I _know_ where this is going. _Her voice started to crack at the end, worrying me even more.

"Are you...breaking up with me?" Did I seriously just ask that like a twelve year old? She turned to look at me and half smiled.

"No. I mean, I'm not, but you might." _Huh?_

"Talk to me." I stated. "Just let it out." She took in a deep breath, and released it slowly.

"Four years ago, something else happened between us that you don't know about," she started, but looked unable to finish.

"Shit, do you have an STD or something?" I knew she didn't, but I was trying to joke to make the mood a bit less heavy. She laughed quietly.

"No."

"Sorry, I was just trying to make a joke. You're kind of freaking me out over here."

"I'm sorry. I just don't know where to start. I made a mistake with you." She was speaking so fast, it was almost hard to keep up with her. She spoke with her hands, just as quickly. "I should have told you up front, but I was terrified, and I hated you for years, so when I saw you again I didn't know what the hell to do! You have to understand the nature of my situation... as a mother." My brain started to reel as fast as her mouth.

"Um, okay? You're a mom? I mean, that's cool, Bella. It's not like some, unforgiving sin for not telling me. I'm sure you did it with good intentions for your child." I didn't know what else to say, except that I understood her reasoning.

"You don't understand," she breathed. She looked down to her clasped hands and sighed. I thought back to our conversation a few weeks ago and my body completely froze up.

"Wait, I thought you said that I was the only person you'd ever been wi..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I looked out to the ocean not even seeing it. "How old is this kid..."

"She's almost five. Her name is Grace, and she has your hair, and witty sense of humor." Her voice was almost inaudible. I didn't speak. She didn't speak. No, I couldn't speak. I tried to open my mouth, but no words met my tongue. A faceless girl came into my vision; small, pale, mine. I started to shake my head furiously.

"I have a kid? She's almost five? Are you serious?" My voice was rising with each word.

"Yes."

"How could this happen? How could you have been so careless!" I shouted. She turned her head to me quickly, and angrily.

"Careless? I was a fucking kid, Edward! How could you just assume that I was on birth control? If I remember correctly, you weren't whipping out any condoms!" That was true. That night seemed so far away from me, that it was hard to grasp a reason as to why I didn't use protection.

"You're right. That was stupid of me to say," I said quietly. "I just can't believe any of this!"

"Edward, it happened, alright? She is the light of my life. My everything! The reason I am able to breathe right now! I do everything because of her, and when you walked back into my life I though maybe, just maybe, you'd want to have that light in your life as well." This is happening too fast.

"You waited this long to tell me, Bella. You never gave me a chance!" I yelled back, standing up. She stood as well, and we were face to face. The tension between us was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

"You left me, remember? I didn't think you deserved to know! You never got on your facebook, and your picture was of you and some slut!" My mind raced through the online account that I hadn't seen in years. Picture? It clicked.  
>"That was Juliette! My only friend in a foreign country, and she is a fucking lesbian, Bella! Wait, you found my account, and didn't even try to get a hold of me?" I said shocked. My vision, blurred with anger, was now blurred with hurt as well.<br>"Edward, you don't even get it! I was a 19 year old girl with no idea what was happening to her, alone, forced to put a complete stop on my life, and there you were with some girl! How would you have felt if you were me?" As angry and stupid as I thought she sounded, she had valid points, and I hated it.

"Bella, five years have gone by. Not six months, not a year, FIVE! You do know that I'll never be able to get those five years back, right?" What the fuck am I supposed to do? I didn't know anything about kids, let alone how to be their father. I would never get the chance to hold her, to feed her her bottle, or take her to her first day of Sunday school. What about that? What about my time, with MY daughter? Bella looked defeated and sat back onto the blanket. We didn't speak for a long time.  
>"I'm sorry." Sorry?<p>

"Sorry doesn't mean anything, now does it?" I snapped. I could no longer control my emotions. I turned my head back to hers when I heard her sniffle.

"Why are you crying?" I was the one who deserved to cry in this situation.

"Because I don't know what else to do!" she yelled out. "I get it, okay? I fucked up. I'm a fucking liar, and a horrible person, who doesn't deserve you. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Jesus Christ, of course not!" I wanted to go back in time, change my life plans and stay with Bella. Stay with...Grace. "I don't want to hear anything! None of this should even be happening!" I wanted to go away, but my feet felt glued to the wet sand beneath me.

"What do you want from me, Edward?" _Everything._

"Nothing. Absolutely, positively, fucking nothing, Bella." _Not true._ I was loosing myself, unable to force out what I really wanted to say. I looked down to her in shambles.

"I...never meant to...hhhurt you," she sobbed out. _Fix her._

"I never said you meant to, but you did. I'm sorry I'm being blunt, but it's true." I felt the orange sun on my neck, and realized I had missed my sunset. Our sunset.

"Don't worry," she began, "Nothing you can say will ever be as harsh as what I am saying to myself." _I don't want that!_ I instantly knelt down in front of her, and took her small cold hands in mine. I had to fix this, but I didn't know how. I didn't know how to even breathe.

"I'm sorry but I cant...I don't know how to do this." I was being honest, but I didn't want it to be true. I had no idea how to be a dad to someone who didn't even know that I existed.

"It isn't for everyone," she said in a small voice. I saw a tear escape her beautiful eye, and quickly wiped it away, instinctively. I felt tears start to swell up in my own eyes.

"You should go," she said plainly as she stood up, breaking free from my hands.

"But," _NO! DO SEOMTHING!_

"But, nothing. This is it. You don't deserve that light." She was right. How could I deserve any light in my life? I am a coward. Maybe I just needed direction! How does one be a dad and tell the girl he loves, that he'll be there for them! I suddenly felt attached to the world by a ball and chain.

"Bella, please don't end it like this," I begged.

"You don't want to be apart of us, I get it, so get out," she said firmly. Her tone shocked me, making my body heat up again.

"Don't blame me for this."

"I blame myself, Edward, but I'm not going to sit here and let the inevitable drag out." She was right. If this was how she wanted it, so be it. I would go. _Coward._

"Fine." I stood to go, but remembered the ring burning a hole through my chest. I reached inside my coat pocket, and laid it on the sand in front of her. My heart was hers, and not mine. It had never been mine. A lonely tear met my cheek as I looked into her sorrowful eyes.

"Goodbye, Bella," I choked. My air was cut off.

"Goodbye, Edward." I turned and ran as fast as I could back to my truck. I didn't care about my clothes or anything else I had left inside that house, except for her. I jumped in and started the engine automatically. I spun the wheel and peeled out with my foot to the floor, pushing as hard as I could. I reached for a cigarette and lit it, breathing in the air my lungs desperately needed. I hit the main road in minutes, my mind far away from me. Nothing but the road in front of me. No visions of Bella, our love, or our time together came to me. Nothing, until the small girl with my hair, Bella's eyes, and a smile that matched both her mother's and my own danced into my wet eyes. It was a distant light. A light that would never be mine.

_Leave all the lights of the world in darkness_

_Strip me bare, left with nothing_

_Alone in the dark, deserve only pain_

_Bring me back, I need my heart_

_Veins dried of blood, eyes left with tears_

_Search for the light, that lives back in them_

_Go and search for the light_

* * *

><p><strong>I hope I didn't break you heart! I promise to update SOON! You know I'm good at that!<strong>

**Also, I write my chapters until I feel they are complete. I have no set length in them, or the story itself. I try to never have a dull moment, so when I feel that the point and purpose has been said, I end it. I'm not sure how long the story will be, but I can assure you that it will satisfying. The story will end when it needs to end.**

**All italicized parts to this chapter are poems written by me specifically for this story.**

**Review please! I love to hear your feedback!**

**-S**


	8. Chapter 8

**BPOV**

**Chapter 7:**

_There's nothing left_

_No one is here_

_Can't I have something to grasp?_

_Why the torture?_

_Fallen down, away from all light_

"Bella? Wake up, sweetie," I heard Alice's voice, but it was far away. I felt like I was underwater. I opened my eyes to see her pretty face.

"Hey," I croaked.

"How are you feeling?"

"Warm."

"Good. It's about time. I can't believe you went and got into the water. You know how cold the ocean is just in the summer, and it's December!" I vaguely remembered my actions, but my body told me it was true.

"I needed something to shock me awake. I couldn't take the pain."

"Right, so give yourself physical pain over emotional pain?" She looked at me like I was a lunatic. Maybe I was, I didn't know.

"Absolutely," I said smirking. My limbs were warm, but frozen stiff. I was thankful to be able to feel the blood pulsing through them strongly.

"Okay," she said slowly. She was sitting next to me on the bed quietly, with a mug in her hand. "Here, drink some hot apple cider."

"Thanks, Al," I said quietly, taking the cup from her hand. I took a sip and nothing had ever tasted so sweet. _Not true._ "What time is it?"

"Morning." She looked down to her watch. "9:30."

"Wow. How long did I sleep?"

"You were out for almost ten hours after I got you out of the shower."

"Oh. Thanks for that, by the way."

"It's no problem. Rosalie will be here in about a half hour, so get yourself ready to do some serious explaining," she said sternly.

She stood up, and left the room leaving me to my thoughts and aching body. I took another drink of the Cider and set it down on the table. I found it hard to move when I was thinking, so I willed my brain to shut off. I hadn't thought of yesterday's events, and I didn't want to until I had to tell Rose and Al. I got up slowly and dressed in comfy sweats, and a hoodie. I grabbed my slippers for my feet, and threw my hair into a messy pony tail. I didn't care. I noticed my favorite necklace wasn't around my neck, so I went into the bathroom to get it. I felt naked without it. I picked up the thin white gold chain, and put it around my neck, clasping it securely. The small Aquamarine stone shined every so slightly in the light. My daughter's birthstone. Before exiting the room, I glanced out the window to see more snow on the ground. Beauty.

Rosalie showed up on the exact time that Alice had said, and rushed towards me embracing me in the tightest of hugs. I decided then, that it was a good time to get all of my tears out. Her and Alice held me for what seemed like an eternity before I was able to speak.

"Just start from the beginning, babe," Rose said softly. We had our cups of coffee and the fire next to us, so it seemed like a good place to start. I told them everything. Every touch, every look, every word. When I got to the fight on the beach, I had to strain my memory to remember everything clearly. I was in such a dense fog throughout out the entire scenario.

"So, he just took off?" Rose asked. I nodded my head. "Just like that, huh?" I nodded again. "What a pussy." Alice slapped Rosalie's arm. "What? It's true!"

"I know, but I hate that word," Alice said quietly.

"Do you have a better one?" Rosalie inquired.

"Coward?"

"Whatever. Same thing."

"Guys? Can we get back to the topic at hand? What do I do now?" Both girls sighed and looked at me helplessly.

"You move on," Alice said.

"Just like that?" I asked.

"Yep. Just like that."

"Easier said than done, Alice."

"I could kill him for you. Or better yet, frame him!" Rose chimed in.

"Rose, I only need you lawyer skills to know that he couldn't ever just come take her away, right?"

"Hell no! First there would have to be a paternity test, then the fact that he has been gone for five years, regardless of him knowing about Grace or not. He could get visitation, but it would take a long time before he ever got any sort of custody. Plus, I know the system. He won't take her." She was so confident. It helped me calm down a bit.  
>"I mean, I don't think he would, but I had to ask. I don't even think he wants her, though. Not if he just up and left like that." Those words were a harsh realization that I hated to admit to myself.<p>

"Bella, he was in shock. Here is this guy in his mid-twenties who has always lived his life for himself, and then BAM! All of a sudden he has a child? It had to of been pretty hard for him to grasp. You shouldn't give up hope," Al said soothingly. Maybe she was right, but I couldn't go around living on hope alone, just to have my hopes crushed when he never would come back. I looked down to my hands in defeat.  
>"What are you thinking?" Alice said quietly.<p>

"I'm just wondering how I could give my heart away so quickly," I said glumly.  
>"You two seemed to go well at that pace," Rose said quickly. "Everyone is different."<br>"I feel like I'm in a Nicholas Sparks novel. Destined to only have short amounts of time feeling love from a man," I said laughing.

"You'll find love, again," Alice said laughing from my joke.  
>"Yeah. Whether it's Edward, or someone else, it'll happen," Rose agreed.<p>

"I don't know if I want it to be Edward. He's left me twice, now."

"You know the first time was different, Isabella," Alice sounded like my mother.

"I know, but still! It hurts. It hurts beyond what I thought it would. And what about poor Grace? What do I tell her, now?"

"You wait for her to bring it up again, and then you tell her the truth," Rose said.

"Rosalie, she's four," Alice replied sharply.  
>"Kids deserve to know the truth!" She shot back. I didn't know what to do, or where to go.<p>

"I need to move on. I have a job, and a child to raise. My heart is in shambles, but I know that Grace's love is enough for me."

"That's a good way to think, baby," Rose said, touching my arm.

"Are you going to tell you parents?" Alice asked curiously. I hadn't even thought about it, actually. I guess I should, but I knew what they would say.

"They'd be furious, Alice," I replied.

"Not if you go about it the right way. You need to tell them both sides of the story, as best you can." I guess I needed to do that, even though I truly did not want too.

"I will. I mean, it's not right of me to keep it from them, it's just hard to talk about. Especially since all they know is that I got drunk, and had sex."

"You didn't tell them that there was something special about it?" Rose asked shocked.

"Hell no! They already had enough to take in with the fact that I was pregnant, and woke up to him gone." I couldn't quite bring myself to say his name. I'm afraid it would too much.

"That's understandable I guess," Al said sweetly. I looked down to my coffee, and took another sip slowly.

"By the way, Bella; What's this?" Alice said confused. I looked up to her and she was holding the black velvet box in her small hand. The green stone shined at me brightly.

"I don't know exactly. I don't think it's an engagement, ring, if that's what you're asking."

"Well, it's beautiful. He obviously cares about you a lot. It's even your favorite stone!" I had forgotten all about that ring, and wished he was able to give it to me in the way that he wanted to. I looked back down to my cold hands, and felt a few more tears begin to fall.

"Hey," Rose said quietly. I looked up to her with wet eyes. "You're going to be alright, I promise." I knew she was right, It was just hard to fathom.

_Can't erase, so I'll take blame_

_But I can't except that we're estranged_

_Without you, without you_

_I am lost, I am vain_

_I will never be the same_

_Without you_

I made it home Sunday evening, and couldn't wait to see Grace. Her light would illuminate all the darkness that had swelled inside of me. It would help me immensely, because I planned on telling my parents about_ him_. The snow on the ground reminded me that Christmas was in just a few weeks. That got me smiling. I noticed in my absence, that my parents and Gracie and strewn Christmas lights around the house beautifully. I could even hear 'Jingle Bell Rock' as I neared the front door.

"Hello? Anyone home?" I called out closing the door behind me. I kicked my wet shoes off at the door, and started to take off my coat.

"Mommy!" Grace screamed coming around the corner. "You're just in time to help decorate the Christmas tree!"

"Perfect!" I said, as I took her small body into my arms. She was wearing her favorite pair of pajamas, and her reddish hair smelt like lavender. _His hair. _"I missed you so much," I told her as I squeezed her tight to my chest.

"I missed you way more! Come see what we've done!" She dropped down from my arms, and took my hand leading me into the living room.

"Hey, mom. Hey dad," I said smiling. They were both huddled around the tree, stringing lights.

"Hey baby," Mom said returning my smile. Grace tugged on my hand.

"It looks great in here you guys!" I said enthusiastically.

"Do you really think so, Mama? I helped string the popcorn! Grandma said I did good at it."

"You did wonderful, my love," my mother replied to her.

"Thank you. Mommy we saved you a piece of cake, like I told you!" I had forgotten all about that.

"Great! Let's go get it, then come back and help decorate," I said cheerfully. I already felt ten times better that I did not five minutes ago. Thank God for my family.

Eight o'clock came quickly, and I decided to stay the night at my parents because the snow wasn't letting up. It always made me nervous driving in snow at night. Especially when I had Grace with me. Plus, she was already soundly asleep upstairs. Though dreading it; I decided to take this opportunity to talk to my parents. We were in the living room on the couch with Egg Nog in our hands, and my dad lit a cigar. He even spiked the Nog, which I was extremely thankful for.

"Hey, I need to talk to you guys," I began slowly.

"What is it, Bells?" Dad said lightly.

"I don't even know where to start, so I guess I'll just come out and say it."

"Uh-oh. We've heard this before," Dad said raising an eyebrow at me.

"I'm not pregnant, Dad." Thank goodness.

"Well then what is it, sweetheart?" My mother asked curiously.

"Grace's dad." I couldn't say anything else at the moment.

"Yes? What about him?" They said together.

"I found him. Or he found me. I mean, when I went to Rosalie's just after Halloween, he was there." I watched the expressions go from curiosity, to extreme worry and confusion. "He's a new friend of Emmett's, and Emmett didn't know who he was..."

"Did you tell him about Grace?" I was surprised that that was the first question my mother had to ask.

"Not then, no. I got to know him more, and found out why he left so sudden that night. He had an internship in France that he had to take for Civil Engineering, and his plane left immediately. He felt really bad about that night, and even tried to find me." I looked to my dad who was silently smoking his cigar, staring off into space.

"Is his name Edward Cullen?" My mother said nonchalantly.

"How did you know?" I gasped.

"You said that he's a Civil Engineer, and I knew they hired some young guy to do the storm drains, so I just assumed..."

"Oh. Well yeah, that's him." I glanced over to my dad before I spoke again. Thankfully he still looked like he was in his daze. "I love him, mom." _Did I really just say that out loud?_

"I know you do, baby."

"How?"

"The look on your face, and the look that you've had on your face since that weekend."

"Alright, I'm out of here. I can't stand the mushy talk. Bells, I love you, and your mom will fill me in later. I'm gonna go catch the end of the game." He stood and kissed us both on our head before exiting the room. We giggled at him loudly.

"I'm surprised he isn't super pissed," I said taking a deep breath.

"We knew that he would come into your life sooner or later, Bella." My mother was always so clam about everything, that it made her really easy to talk to. I wish I had told her sooner. I didn't expect this to go so well.

"Well, anyway; I went to the cabin this weekend to be with him, and I told him about Grace." I looked down to my lap, and felt a lump begin to form in my throat. I tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn't budge.

"I'm guessing by that look, that it didn't go well?" She asked quietly.

"He freaked out. He looked so lost, and afraid. He's really mad at me, and he has every right to be."

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know. He took off." My mother took a deep breath before she spoke again.

"First of all, no one is at fault here. You both have logical reasons for feeling the way you do. Sure he's afraid! The poor guy just found out that he's a dad, and he didn't even have the nine month pregnancy to prepare himself. But I also know that you're afraid for Grace. I'm proud of you for always putting her first. It wouldn't be right to bring him into her life, when you're not sure if he even wants to be apart of it." She has so much wisdom, it kills me. She should have been a therapist, not an animal surgeon.

"That's what I'm afraid of. What if he doesn't want us?" I said in a small voice.

"Bella, I'm sure he does, he just doesn't know how to want you both, because he's in shock. Give him some time."  
>"What if I never hear from him again? What do I tell Grace? What do I tell myself?" I was starting to get a little hysterical.<p>

"Shh, baby, calm down." She pulled my head to her chest and soothed me in way that only a mother can do.

"If he doesn't, than he doesn't. The words will come to you when it's time to tell Grace, and you will find strength in yourself, to know that everything will be alright. Everything happens for a reason, Bella." Her words hit me like I was colliding with a mountain.

"Edward believes that, too." I whispered.

"Keep faith baby. Always keep your faith." I cried for a long time, feeling no remorse. What was meant to happen, would happen. I wasn't afraid anymore, and I wanted to move forward. If Edward was to come back, so be it. If he didn't, well that's just fine, too. It hurts like hell, but I'm keeping my faith.

_I can't look, I'm so blind_

_I lost my heart, I lost my mind_

_Without you, without you_

**EPOV:**

Who knows where the road may lead. I felt like a hitchhiker; no idea for a destination, but desperately wanted to be somewhere. Anywhere. I was driving ten miles under the speed limit to the outskirts of Forks, looking for my parents' new house. They got here almost a week ago, and I'd been so busy with work, that I'm just now getting the time to come out and see the place. And them. I wasn't sure how to act. I was excited about getting to see them, about them living close to me, but I was going to meet Ming. I'm terrified. _Why?_ Probably because she's only ten years old. A child. I have a child. If my parents can be parents, why the fuck couldn't I? I'm such a coward! I haven't been able to think straight for thirteen days. I'd been swamped with more work than I felt like I could handle. Thirteen days since I last saw my heart. My light. My love. I hate myself, and here I am rambling on in my thoughts like a fucking schizo. The address I had been searching for, finally came into view saving myself from myself. I need to be committed. I flicked my cigarette out the window as I drove along the long windy, rocky driveway. It led me to a beautiful house set back into the trees. It was a decent sized house, more room than three people needed, but not overly sized. Floor length windows lined around the entire outline of the home, and I could see Christmas lights twinkling inside. I pulled up next to my father's Volvo and stepped out into the snow. I didn't even make it up the steps to the entrance of the house before the door flew open.

"My baby is here!" My mother called out graciously. She stepped out onto the porch and threw her arms around me. Her familiar scent filled my lungs, as I hugged her tightly.

"Hey, mom." She wore a long sweater like dress, and her hair was pulled back.

"Esme, let the boy breathe!" My father said from behind her. He came up next to us as we pulled apart and put his arms around me for a quick tight, manly hug. He was in his comfy khaki pants, and a button up. It never looked comfortable to me, but I guess wearing scrubs got old.

"Come in, come in!" Mom said excitedly. "Wait until you see the inside, Edward."  
>"If it looks as good as the outside, I'll be shocked."<p>

"It certainly was a great find," my dad said proudly. We stepped into the foyer, and my mother peeled my coat off, hanging it in the closet behind us. The house smelt like sugar cookies, my favorite.

"Wow." The only word to describe this place was, 'wow.'

"Beautiful isn't it? Of course, I can't take any of the decorating credit, but I did find the place." Dad said fondly.

"For that I am thankful to you, dear," my mother teased. We started to slowly walk around the house with my jaw to the floor. The wood was rare, and old. The drapes of course matched the couches, and the rugs matched the wood color of the coffee and end tables.

"It's perfect for you guys," I said kindly.

"I'm so glad you like it!" My mother squealed. We stood looking in an awkward silence.

"So...where is she?" I asked sheepishly.

"Ming! Come on down and meet your big brother!" My father called. "She's up there drawing."

"She's quite the artist, Edward. You'd be impressed. She's a lot like how you were at that age. Very interested in the things around her. And her english is perfect!" I nodded my head as we heard footsteps on the stairs. She came into the room with the biggest smile on her face. She was stunning. Her light skin contrasting against her long black hair, and dark eyes. She was petite, and thin.

"Hi! I'm Ming," She said enthusiastically.

"Hello, there. I'm Edward," I said happily. Here I thought it would be awkward, but she seemed genuinely excited to be meeting me. That warmed my heart. My mother put her arm over Ming's shoulder lovingly.

"Let's go into the kitchen, shall we? Edward, Ming and I baked your favorite cookies."

"That sounds great," I replied with a smile. This was going to be a great night with my family. A night that I desperately needed.

Hours, and much fuller stomachs later, we were at the kitchen table, rubbing our bellies. I had forgotten how fantastic my mother's cooking was, and she would no doubt put ten pounds on me by the time Christmas came. Which-I suddenly realized-was coming up next week. Ming was very special, and made everyone that came into contact with her, in a good mood. It was refreshing and enlightening. This girl came from nothing, sold by her parents to some disgusting people, and still managed to get out of the situation somewhat unscathed. She even talked about it openly, and was insanely too smart for a ten year old. My parents told the story of how they found her, and it was surprisingly funny. Ming said that from the moment she saw them, she knew she had to be with them. She followed them home from an italian restaurant and knocked on their hotel room door, asking for a place to sleep. It was sincerely touching. It was impossible to be uncomfortable around her. After dinner I helped Ming finish drawing out the house plans, and got to get to know her better. She was obsessed with this cat doll thing called 'Hello Kitty' and was like my mother said, very gifted at drawing. She drew anything and everything she saw. She apparently wanted my help with the dimensions of the house, which I gave to her gladly. She was a very curious little girl, who seemed to be able to read people like she was reading a book. When it came time for her to go to bed, it was bittersweet. My mother helped her get ready for a bath, so I had to say good-bye, promising to be back soon. I didn't want to leave. I hadn't had fun in a while, so I was afraid that when the lights would go out for the night, I would as well. I found myself out on the deck smoking a cigarette while my father sipped his brandy. Snow was falling slowly and silently from the sky above us.

"Well, what did you think?"

"She's phenomenal. I see why you both got so attached to her quickly, because I feel it, too." I answered honestly.

"Right? It's like she has this pull on you, and you can't force it away."

"She's great. I'm really happy that she's now my sister. I always wanted one of those!" I teased. My father laughed, and then got quiet suddenly.

"So, tell me what's bothering you, son."

"Nothing, dad. I'm great," I lied.

"Don't lie to me. You met someone," he said positively. How the hell does he know this shit? "Where did you find her?"

"Well, I found her almost five years ago when I was here for school, before I left for France."

"What's her name?"

"Bella Swan." Her name stung my mouth.

"And you're upset because it didn't work out? I had no idea that you'd been seeing someone this long," he said a bit shocked.

"Well, we kind of shared one night together, then I left for France. We didn't even know each others last names, so that made it practically impossible to find one another, until I moved back here. In October, I met up with her coincidentally at a friends house."

"What aren't you telling me, Edward?" God, could I even say it?

"I messed up. I'm so lost, and I don't know which way to turn. I have a daughter, dad. Her name is Grace; Product of that one night we shared together back when we were practically still kids! I just found out about it almost two weeks ago, and I freaked out. I left her, before I even met her." My threw my head into my hands, and wanted to rip all of my hair out.

"Take a deep breath, alright?" he said docterly. He sat back in the rocker and sighed. "Wow. You're a dad, huh? This is exciting Edward! I'm a grandpa!" I looked over to him and saw him smiling.  
>"How can you smile? What the fuck am I supposed to do, dad? She's almost five years old, and I have no fucking idea how to be a father!" I sighed heavily, and reached for another cigarette. "Aide-moi papa," I said quietly.<p>

He leaned his elbows onto his knees in front of him, and clasped his hands together. "Edward, I understand that this is a lot to take in, but let me tell you something: no one goes into having kids, knowing how to be a parent. You live and you learn. Everyone makes mistakes, but you just keep on loving them, and do the best you can. You teach them things, protect them, and laugh with them." My dad was helping me a hell of a lot more than I thought he would. My chest eased, and I took a deep breath. "Your mother and I will always be here to help you. I hope you know that. To think that I have a grandchild out there makes me unbelievably happy. I'm trying to contain my excitement. I know you're upset, so forgive me, but I know you're going to do the right thing."

"It's alright dad. I guess I haven't looked at it that way. I don't even now if Bella ever wants to see me again. I left her on the beach, like such an asshole. I was just afraid, and I didn't know what else to do, so running away sounded like a good idea." I shook my head at the realization of my own words. _COWARD._

"Edward, ask yourself honestly; What do you want?" I looked over to him curiously. I hadn't even taken the time to think things through. I went into lunatic mode instead of acting like an adult. I know what I want, and I have known all along.

"I want them."

"Then go get them, son." I stood from the rocking chair immediately, and started running for my truck as I called over my shoulder.

"Love you, dad! I'll call you! And thanks!"

"Love you, too!" he called back laughing.

I jumped into my truck excitedly, and started the engine. It was just after seven, as I took my cell out and dialed Bella's number. It went straight to voice-mail twice, so I gave up and dialed Emmett.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, it's Edward," I said breathless. I was driving down the driveway much too quickly, and even managed to whip out another cigarette.

"Edwardo! What's up?" Emmett replied in his loud voice.

"Can I talk to Rosalie?"

"Uh, sure, man..." He said strangely. I heard him call for her over the phone, hurting my ears.

"Hello?" She said scarcely. I hit the main road picking my speed up even more. This was what I wanted, and I was going to get it. The blood pulsing through me had never run so strong.

"Rosalie, It's Edward. I need your help." She took a minute to respond, making me wonder if she hung up. I wouldn't blame her.

"Okay?"

"Look, you may hate me, and I understand why, but I want to make this right. I want...no... I _need_ Bella and Grace in my life. I'll do whatever it takes."

"Alright, what can I do?" She was on board with me, and I was so happy that I felt like I could scream.

"Bring Bella to the cabin. Do whatever you have to do to get her there. Make something up, anything!"

"Okay, I can do that. What about Grace?"

"Not yet. I need to talk to Bella first, and see if she'll even still have me, and allow me to be apart of our daughter's life, after how I've reacted."

"Edward, it's alright. You both handled things in a way that could have been handled better. I knew you'd come around and stop being an asshole." I laughed at her joke. "I can have here there in an hour, is that good?"

"That's perfect. I owe you," I said sighing in relief.

"Damn straight you do!" She teased. We hung up, and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to my heart. Time was moving at such an accelerated pace, that I was almost high off of it. I was going to my love. I don't even know how I was able to breathe these past two weeks, because my lungs were taking in air like I was a new life. I was going to meet my daughter, and life had never felt more perfect. They are my reason, they hold my heart.

_I won't run, I won't fly_

_I will never make it by_

_Without you, without you_

_I can't rest, I can't fight_

_All I need is you and I_

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 is here! I hope you like it! I know you're anxious for these two to come back together, and they will!<strong>

**In case some of you were wondering, the song lyrics chosen for this chapter are from the song 'Without You' by David Guetta Ft. Usher. I though it fit the mood pretty well ;)**

**I will be updating as soon as I can, but I start my new job this next week. Hang in there with me. I won't forget about you all! **

**Your reviews and Favorite Author/Story/Alerts meane the world to me! I love your feedback so keep them coming! I try to reply to all reviews as quick as possible.**

**Enjoy, and i'll see you next time!**

**-S**


	9. Chapter 9

**BPOV**

**Chapter 8:**

Confusion was all I had felt for the past hour. Rosalie called me just as I was getting Grace out of her bath, and said that she needed me immediately. I was to go to the cabin, and meet her, while Alice stayed with Grace. It was hard to make out what exactly Rosalie was up, too. I found that extremely frustrating. Thankfully it hadn't started snowing yet, or I wouldn't be going at all. I made the trip quicker than I thought. I pulled into the driveway and gasped when I saw Edward's truck. Was this some kind of trick? Rosalie was coming out of the house, and running towards my car. I sighed heavily and got out.

"Bella! I'm so glad you came," she gushed out.

"What the hell is going on here, Rose?"

"Edward. He wants to see you."

"Why couldn't you just tell me that he was here?"

"Because I wasn't sure if you'd come or not..." she said slowly. She had a point. Part of me desperately wanted to see him again, but the other part was extremely cautious. I wasn't sure how I would handle what he had to tell me. "Take it as a good thing that he is here, babe."

"Alright," I sighed out.

"I'm leaving, but call me if you need anything. I have court tomorrow, but you better let me know how everything goes, okay?" She said sternly.

"I will." I promised.

"Go get him," she said pushing me towards the house with a wink. I walked slowly up the steps and felt snow begin to fall. Why couldn't everything be as quiet as the snow? My mind was in an argument with itself as I opened the front door quietly. I stepped in, and heard nothing. I took my coat off, and rounded the living room corner, and saw Edward on the couch with his face in his hands.

"Edward?" I said in a whisper. His head snapped up and I wanted to melt inside his perfect eye color.

"Bella," he breathed out relieved. _Relieved?_ Was I unaware that I am some kind of monster to be feared? Everyone seemed to act like I was a bitch or something. All I wanted was for this to be over. Over in the sense of him and I working this out, or him leaving. Either way; I couldn't be stuck in this state of confusion anymore. I stood there awkwardly staring at him with no idea of what to say.

"I don't really know what to say..." Good place to start I suppose.

"You don't have to say anything. I am the one with all the explaining that needs to be done. Will you come sit by the fire?" He asked sweetly. I nodded my head and followed him over to what seemed like 'our spot.' We made love here, and all of those emotions started to flow through me quickly. I sat down and crossed my legs. He sat across from me looking purely confused and worried.

"Edward, just spit it out," I said gently. He looked up to me and tried to smile.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I keep making mistakes, but I want you to know that I'm through with making them. I've been afraid and have acted like such a coward. It was a lot for me to take in at that moment, so running away seemed like the easiest way to handle it all. I'm so sorry for leaving you on the beach that day." He was sincere and truly broken up about it. It warmed my insides.

"It's alright. I probably would have reacted the same way, if I were you," I stated truthfully.

"No, you would have been much more mature about it," he shrugged.

"That was then. This is now."

"You're right. I need you both, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"You...me...and Grace?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes. That is...if you'll still allow me." I decided not to reply with words, so I leaped for him instead. I threw my arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly. Tears met my eyes and I allowed them to flow. I had waited so long for this moment, and now it was finally upon me. He returned my hug gladly it felt like.

"I can't believe all of this," I said sniffling. "I've waited so long. I never thought I would see you again after that night."

"Bella, you know I love you, right? I can't explain anything that is going on right now, but that is one thing I know for absolute sure. And you know what else? I love Grace, too. I've never met her, and she is all I can think about." A sob broke through my body as I clutched myself to him with need.

"I love you, too. And Grace is going to love you as well."

"You really think so?" he asked scarcely.

"I know so, Edward." We hugged for a long time after that with kisses here and there. After a while we decided to make something to eat and try to relax, before we started talking about the details. I was trying not to think too far ahead into the future. Visions of Edward and Grace filled my head; Birthdays, Holiday's, Grace's first day at school, Edward and I getting married...I stopped with that one immediately. I think I would be fine if we never got married. A piece of paper didn't mean much to me, but I wonder if Edward would want Grace to take his last name. I don't think I would be upset about it, because I wanted his name too...

"What're you thinking about over there?" Edward said smiling. He handed me a beer and sat next to me on the couch.

"Nothing and everything...if that makes any sense," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"I know the feeling," Edward laughed.

"I'm just excited. I mean, I want to be."  
>"You should be. I am."<br>"Really? Good. Now I can be too." He leaned in and kissed my lips softly, making me dizzy as he pulled away.

"I met Ming," he said quietly as he smiled to himself.

"That's great! Wow. How did it go?"

"Awesome. She's really smart, and a lot like me, actually. I can see why my parents couldn't let her go. She made me think of Grace, too, which prompted me to talk to my dad. If it weren't for him, I don't know if I would have gotten my head out of my ass."

"Same here. My mom really laid it on thick. Parents," I scoffed. "They always know what to say."

"That's what I'm afraid of, Bella. I have no idea how to be a dad. I could never give as good advice to Grace, as my dad does to me," he said sadly. It felt so good to hear him say her name.

"Edward, I feel the same way. You take it day by day, and do the best you can. No one is perfect," I said taking his hand.

"What if she doesn't like me?" His voice was almost inaudible.

"She's going to love you," I stated firmly.

"How do you know?"

"I know because she's your child, and because I love you." He looked into my eyes and smiled widely, before pulling me to his chest. He rested his chin on my head and rubbed my arm.  
>"Thank you, Bella."<p>

"I'm so glad you're here," I whispered.  
>"Me too."<p>

**EPOV**

I woke up to a sleeping Bella on my chest. I couldn't remember when we even fell asleep, but my back was killing me. Rosalie and Emmett need a new couch. I started to get up slowly, trying not to wake Bella. I slid off the couch, smiling because she didn't even seem disturbed. I went to the kitchen and started some coffee, when I remembered what I originally wanted to do this morning, if Bella still wanted me. _She does_. Thank God for that. I was overwhelmed with everything, but more excited than anything. I went for my coat pocket and took out the ring I had gotten Bella. I wasn't surprised when Rosalie gave it to me, saying that Bella couldn't bare to keep it. I understood, and was glad because now I could give it to her properly. I went back to the finished coffee, and poured two cups before walking back to the living room. Bella looked most beautiful when she slept. Her face was puffy with sleep and her breathing was even. I knelt down next to her and set the mugs on the coffee table softly.

"Bella baby," I said quietly. "Wake up." She stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

"Hmm?" she said groggily.

"I made some coffee."

"Perfect," she replied wiping the sleep from her eyes. She sat up slowly and reached for the hot cup.

"I want to do something that I wish I could have done the first time," I started slowly.

"What's that?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. I pulled the ring out of the small box, and reached for her hand, sliding it on finger. Perfect fit.

"I got this for you and wanted to put it on your finger personally. It's an Irish wedding ring, actually. It can also mean unity, and friendship, which was the original reason I bought it. I had the Peridot put in specifically for you." I looked into her eyes, and saw tears. I wiped one away that tried to escape, and smiled at her.

"It's beautiful Edward. I love it. It's perfect, because now I have something of you and of Grace always on me." She reached into her shirt and pulled out the small necklace that had a tiny March colored birthstone. She leaned down and put her hand on my face as she kissed me passionately. I felt the love she held, bore into me strongly. I relished in the feeling and kissed her back with everything I had.

"I want to know everything about her," I said between our kiss. She pulled away and smiled widely.

"Where do I begin?"

"From the beginning." She took a deep breath and pulled me up to sit next to her. She took another sip of her coffee, and smiled.

"She was born on March 27th weighing 7lbs and 6oz. When she came out, she had dark brown eyes, and black hair!" She laughed at the memory. I tried to picture it all as best I could.

"It wasn't until she was almost 6 months old that she started to get your hair color. She was the best baby. My parents always said that I got it easy, because she never got sick, never wanted a pacifier, and never cried."

"She sounds so perfect," I said smiling.

"She is. She is absolutely amazing, Edward. She's smart like you, too. Unbelievably smart, and witty. She's kind and strong willed. Her favorite thing right now is Hello Kitty. It's pretty adorable."

"When do I get to meet her? I mean, how do we even do this?"

"Well, we do it right. We tell her who you are, and let her go at it with her own pace. I think we should do it before Christmas, because I want you to spend it with us."

"That's only a few days away. I'm nervous," I said in a small voice. I put my hand on my neck and rubbed it tenderly.

"Don't be. She may be a bit hesitant at first, but she's waited a long time to know you, so she's going to be really excited."

"But where do we tell her I've been all this time?"

"Hmm," she said curiously. "I think, for now, we tell her you were gone working. She's only five, so she won't ask much more until she's older."

"And what do we tell her then?"

"The truth. When she's old enough of course."

"Okay, that sounds alright. I think we should go to my parent's house for Christmas eve. My parents are probably beside themselves with excitement. Ming is going to love her."

"Okay, that would be great! And we can do Christmas day with my family."

"Do your parents hate me?"

"No. They have no reason too. It wasn't your fault, Edward. They want Grace to have her dad in her life, just as much as I do."

"We have a lot of time to make up for," I said softly.

"And I can't wait to start making up for it," she replied sweetly. I sat back wondering. What she looked like, felt like, smelt like, and sounded like. I knew the image in my head wouldn't even compare to her once I laid my eyes on her. Excitement surged through me.

"What do you think I should get her for Christmas?"

"Anything Hello Kitty," she laughed. "She's such a girl."

"Okay, that should be easy," I laughed back. "I'll find something that's special and Hello Kitty."

"Perfect, babe."

Today is the day! I was going to meet my daughter. Bella told me to be at her house by 4, and it was already 3. I felt like I had been counting down the minutes since I woke up this morning at 6:30. I had a hard time concentrating on work today, because my mind was racing away from me with thoughts of Grace Lynn. I stepped into a nice pair of jeans, and a button up shirt. I was afraid of overdressing, so I've already changed twice, finally deciding on comfortable casual wear. I reached for the small wrapped gift on my end table and put it into my coat. I wasn't going to let her open it until Christmas, but wanted to give it to her to put under her tree. It was a necklace that had a small Hello Kitty face with little diamonds inside of it. The bow on the cats face, was even laced in pink diamonds. It may be too much for a five year old, but I wanted to get her something she'd love, and something special. Hopefully her mother would only let her wear it on special occasions. Oh boy, what am I getting myself into? I was ecstatic, but nervous. I don't know what little girls like to do! Bella reassured me that she is girly, but also has a nice tom-boy side to her as well. For that; I was thankful.

I found my way to Bella and Grace's small, but nice looking house, and took a gigantic breath. I let the winter hair cool my lungs, and stepped out of my truck. The only thing Bella had told Grace about me coming, is that she had someone for her to meet. She said that Grace sounded excited, so my heart wasn't as constricted. I walked slowly to the front door, my feet feeling like they were made of iron. 'Knock knock' my hand went against their front door. It opened up after only a moment, and when I saw Bella, I suddenly felt at ease.

"Come in," she said nicely as she grabbed my hand. I steeped inside and the smell of cookies and apple cider wafted through the house.

"Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'm good," I said a bit too shakily. "Where is she?"

"She's upstairs coloring in her room. I'll call her down in a second. Just breathe," she said soothingly. She walked me into the kitchen where I could see that all her baking necessities were out on the counter.

"It smells good in here."

"Thanks. Want some apple cider? It's homemade," she said with a wink.

"Oh, really? Well then I must have some," I said teasingly. She took the lid off of a large crock pot and poured me a glass. If it tasted as good as it smelt, I'd be in heaven.

"Sip slowly. It's really hot," she warned. I did as told, and it was pretty hot, but really good.

"It's delicious," I said.

"Thanks. The recipe was my grandma's."

"Was?"

"Yeah, she died when I was young. You would have like her, though. She was a funny lady."

"I'm sure I would have," I said smiling.  
>"Do you have any living grandparents?"<p>

"Unfortunately no. My dad was an orphan in and out of foster homes, and my mother's parents died before I was born.  
>"That's so sad," she said quietly.<p>

"Yeah, but at least I have them."

"That's true," she said smiling. We were learning something new about each other all the time it seemed. I took any and all information that she gave me, and locked it into a fault in my mind. My breathing stopped when I heard movement upstairs. Bella noticed my near panic attack.

"It's okay, my love. Come on, let's go see her." I nodded my head, and followed her up the stairs. I heard kids singing from a small radio as we neared what seemed to be her room. Bella opened the door quietly, and at a small table sat my daughter. She was coloring, and bopping her head to the music while singing along. Her hair was long and matched the color of mine. She has the fairest skin, and she was stunning. The walls were colored brightly and pictures hung on every wall. I hadn't started breathing again since I was in the kitchen, but I felt like my lungs didn't need air when I was looking at her.

"Gracie," her mother said over the music. Grace whipped her head over to look at us, and smiled. Her eyes were identical to Bella's but she had the same shaped head as me. Bella walked over to her and knelt down beside her.

"Grace," Bella began, "I want you to meet Edward."

"Is he your boyfriend, mommy?" She asked curiously. Her voice was like hearing the angels sing.

"Sort of," Bella said laughing. I smiled at both of them. "But you know who else he is?"

"Who?" She said cutely.

"This is your daddy." Grace looked from me to Bella quickly. I didn't know her well enough (_yet_) so I couldn't make out her facial expression.  
>"My real daddy?"<p>

"Yes, baby."

"Where did you find him?" I felt somewhat awkward just standing here, so I leaned against the door frame softly, enjoying watching them interact.

"Well, he was away at work for a long time, but now he's back."

"Oh," she said plainly. She looked over to me, and I smiled. Bella nudged her head for me to come closer, so I did hesitantly, never taking my eyes away from Grace. I knelt down in front of her, smelling lavender.

"Hi, Grace," I said nicely.

"Hello," she said cautiously. "Do you like Hello Kitty?"

"I love Hello Kitty," I said trying to sound convincing. I did look up the entire Sanrio collection and it's history before I came over here today, so I felt pretty confident.

"Would you like to color in my Hello Kitty coloring book?"

"Absolutely," I said honestly. I crawled over to the table and sat patiently.  
>"I'll find you a good page to color," she said sweetly. "You can color Keroppi!" She said excitedly. I looked down to the colorless frog she laid in front of me, and smiled.<p>

"Okay! Would you like to color it with me?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah, and then we can give it to mommy to hang above her work desk!"

"I would love that, sweetheart," Bella said teary eyed.

I sat with Grace for almost an hour, coloring and laughing with her. Bella had gone back downstairs to finish baking, leaving me and my daughter to ourselves. I listened to her tell me all about her school, and her friends. What she liked, and what she hated. I in turn answered any and all questions she had, feeling happy that she was so curious about me. All my insecurities had left me when I realized how sweet and genuine she truly is. I felt a sudden fatherly instinct take over my heart. After dinner, it was time for Grace to go to bed, and I felt heartbroken. I never wanted to leave her side.

"Do I have to mommy?" Grace begged.

"Grace Lynn, it's almost 8:30. It's time for bed." Grace sighed heavily.

"Wait, I have something for you to put under the Christmas tree, Grace," I said remembering her gift. I took it from my coat pocket and handed it to her softly.

"Wow, thank you!" She said excitedly. She ran over to the tree, and placed it perfectly against the other presents with the biggest smile on her face.

"You're welcome." I looked over to Bella smiling and gave her a wink.

"Will you both come tuck me in?" Grace asked in a small voice. Bella looked over to me and I nodded.  
>"Of course, baby." she answered softly. I followed the girls upstairs, and into Grace's bedroom. She climbed into her bed and snuggled against her Hello Kitty stuffed animal. Bella leaned down and kissed her head. I looked over to the night stand and saw her night light. I turned it on, and smiled when I saw the butterflies dance across the walls. She looked just as beautiful when she was exhausted as she did when she was rested.<p>

"Sleep good," I said sweetly.

"Thank you. Will I see you tomorrow?" I looked to Bella who smiled gently at me.

"Yes," I replied honestly.

"Good," she said sleepily. I turned to walk out of the room and Bella followed.

"Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight daddy." My heart came together from a million pieces at her words. She called me daddy. I choked up as I stepped back into the hallway. Bella grabbed my hand, and led me to a bedroom in the back of the house. Her room was warm and cozy, with a large un-made bed in the center.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked softly.

"I would love too," I replied.

"Isn't she wonderful?" Bella said, as she went to the bed. She undressed herself completely before crawling in.  
>"She's perfect. Just like you," I said as I stared at her naked body. I couldn't help myself. She giggled and got under the covers quickly. I saw her mouth begin to chatter, so I walked over and started to undress myself. I crawled in beside her and hugged her close to my heart.<p>

"I love you," I breathed into her ear.

"As I love you," she replied confidently. She squeezed my arm that draped across her middle, tightly.

"Make love to me," she whispered. I turned her body to face me, and put my lips to hers. We made love in a new way. We shared a daughter together, and so the love between us felt more powerful than I ever could have imagined. My life was just now beginning. Everything else before tonight, didn't exist. Making love to Bella was a perfect way to start my new life. I couldn't wait to see Grace in the morning, and couldn't wait to start being her dad.

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><p><strong>AH! Sorry It has taken so long for an update! I started my new job today, and have forty hours this week, so I'm going to be really busy! I won't forget about you all.<strong>

**Your comments mean so much! Review!**

**-S**


	10. Epilogue

**BPOV**

**Epilogue:**

Christmas came and went along with the rest of it's holiday festivities. The day Edward met Grace seemed like it was years ago rather than a couple of months. I couldn't believe that each day only got better when Grace and I were with him. His parents are like a Godsend, and Grace adored them. Especially Ming. They act like sisters already. My parents were exceptionally welcoming to Edward and his family, which made my heart ease a great deal. I kept wondering when I was going to wake up from this dream, yet nothing seem to come at me. I couldn't be more content. We planned on taking things slow, but it never seemed to work out that way with Edward. He purposed to me on New Years Eve, and our wedding was set for April: Just one month away. He was trying to hold out on my wedding present, but I guess he couldn't take it any longer. Edward bought us a house. Well, he was able to pay most of it off with his life savings, which I felt awful about. He assured me that it was what he wanted to do, and so he did it. We start moving in the day after the wedding. The house is actually in the perfect spot. It's just in the middle of town, yet out into the woods a bit. There is enough room for animals, and it looked like Edward was going to have work here for a very long time considering all that needs to be done in this town. Grace was practically inseparable from Edward. He stayed over most nights, and on the few he didn't, Grace was depressed. It's amazing the effect a dad can have on his little girl.

Planning for my wedding was torture. Between my two best friends, my mother, and my soon-to-be mother in-law, it was all being 'handled.' for that I was grateful, but I hated all the hype. I would be just fine with some small court house thing, but they wouldn't here of it. I gave in and decided, "Hey, I'm only getting married once, right?" Edward seemed more excited about it than I was! We even got the papers drawn up to change Grace's name to his. As it should be. His fathering is perfect. He automatically became protective, and loving, so I have no idea what he was so worried about.

I knew that life was going to throw a lot at us, but I'd never felt more ready for it. Of course there would be the awful times, but the good times would always overtake them. Though it seems like my life may pass in a blur sometimes, it's the moments with Edward and Grace that ground me. Not many people are as fortunate as I am. To have a loving family, a glorious daughter, and the love of my life at my side, I felt like I was living out my very own fairy tale. A fairy tale that would never have to end.

_The lights of life only grow stronger with love_

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><p><strong>END:<strong>

**I want to thank you all for reading this. It was such an outlet for me. I ended this story feeling that it was complete. I thought about it for a long time, and nothing new was coming to mind. I didn't want to bore my readers by making things up to keep the story going. I write short stories, and all of your reviews have meant the world to me.**

**I want to apologize to you for it taking so very long for me to post this. I started a new job, working full time, and am a mother to a one year old, so finding time to write seems almost impossible. I can't believe the day that I am finally able to post something is today! Black Friday! I just got off work from a 10 hour shift!**

**My hope is that you feel fullfilled with my ending. I kept it short and sweet. Writing is generally something I do for myself, so I never expected to get so much attention to this story. I urge you to keep me in your favorites, because I plan on writing for as long as I have new stoires coming into my mind. I somehow managed to write the Prologue, and first chapter to a new story! I want to post it now, as a treat. Hang in there with me. I am actually about to move back to East Tennessee (17 hours away from where I am now) in about two weeks so between working my last days, caring for my daughter, and packing, I will be busy! Although, I never forget my readers!**

**I can assure you that my new fic, Island of the Lost, will NOT disappoint! I guarentee that it is NOTHING like you have ever read before in a Twilight Fic. Go take a read, and leave me some love. I appreciate each and every one of you. I will update as soon as I am able, and hope you all have a wondful Holiday Season.**

**Love,**

**Savannah**


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